Mobile gaming

 As someone that plays games, probably less than I used to, mainly because I spend to much time wallowing with feck all motivation I do sometimes game on the go,  probably way less than some people as im one of those pricks that likes to read if on a long journey, but sometimes that can be a bit tricky as some of our roads get a bit bumpy. Don't like to be one of those people that's glairing at there phone scrolling social media and the broken timeline that is Facebook, seriously, I just want to see what my friends are upto, I don't really give a toss what somebody that im never likely to meet is upto, i've unfollowed loads of pages to try to sort my timeline but ITS STILL THE SAME! CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER DAMN IT!

Anyway I do still have the odd game on my phone for those times that i'm taking one of those long shits and i'm without a book, yes I read on the toilet, I tend to buy what I call "Bog books" ones that I can quickly dip in and out of, wait where was I?
Oh yeah games on my phone, i've had tons over the years, most haven't really lasted on several devices the only one to actually get installed on almost every phone for the past ten years is???????

Jewels maze 2
(I've never played the first one)

I must of logged thousands of hours on it over the years, Its a simple match the coloured gems game, its free, it can also save mid game in some modes, its not one of those games that nags for a constant internet connection, same with microtransactions, it does have adds, that is avoided if you go offline.
It also doesn't have all the eye strain of shit like Candy Crush and the timer bullshit of such games.
ITS JUST A SIMPLE FREE MATCH THE GEMS PUZZLE GAME!
Just mute the audio and sound effects and "Enjoy" a simple game. 

Just the game to play whilst taking a dump.

TL;DW - Something something Jewels maze 2 is a "Fun" taking a dump game

feck you all im back

 Urgh, been a while since I did a text based rant, they have been mainly video form these days as its easier to just spout out random crap and not have to worry about the old grammar and editing means I can make a half an hour long one go down to ten minutes of me talking bollocks, I actually do minute long reviews as well, started because as I saw a lot of reviewers doing shit like an hour long review of something. One in particular did a 2 hour analysis of a fucking trailer for a DC movie, I didn't watch either, in my mind lifes (Lives?) to short to spend listening to someone drone on about the lastest dark as shit (as they cant afford the lighting rig) super hero film, still people pay to see CGI thing fight CGI thing in a CGI space with no actual impact to any of the attacks, what the bloody hell happened to fighting in films feeling like they have some kind of weight to punches? bugs the crap outa me, but
I digress
Typing for long periods of time reminds me that I like the clicky sound of this keyboard, its the only noise going on in the flat at the moment as the parrot is in bed and I think any kind of music will disrupt my funky funky flow, its like some form of ASMR for nerds, I don't mean like when Captain Janeway whispers "I knowwwww" to the clown thing at the end of the episode "The Thaw" that gave me a special feeling.
What? I can't be the only person that was kinda attracted to the women in charge thing, must be some kinda domination fetish. 
You know what, I dont think ive ever watched the full series of Voyager, what the heck is the current series im trying to "Marathon"? Am I marathoning a series? Amount of confusion about such matters isnt really worth thinking about.
Anyway what the bloody hell am I writing about?
I actually have no firggen clue but somehow I wrote about something, by writing about nothing. 

TL;DW - Something something do video blogs now, something something Nerdon for Captain Janeway, something something CGI hero films are mostly shit

Graphical content

Im back and like somebody that just had his Lego tower topple over im grumpy.

I know there's a statement that goes like this "Graphics don't make the game" and for the most part this is true, BUT!! (Oh yes a big but, a Yokozuna sized butt)
Im looking at the modern gen systems (PS4/XBOX1) and im seeing games that look like they could be high end PS2 games, what the hell happened to the graphics? People are buying these machines hoping for next gen graphics and all they are getting is stuff that looks old hat, I know that most of them are multi platform titles that take into account the previous gen, but still GIVE US SOMETHING THAT DON'T LOOK 2 GENS OLD!!  Even these "Next gen" games don't look all that special, they also look dull as shit, ITS ALL THE SAME CRAP!!

Its either that or they make the game look like you need to turn the brightness up to see anything. what ever happened to day time? Even in games from the past (like Tenchu) when its night you can still see shit, granted that's "Not very realistic", but bollocks to realistic im playing a game I don't care for it (to those that say Fifa and COD are realistic, for one you aint playing with a real ball and for two if you get shot IRL your life dont regen that fast).

You want some games that look better than the current shit? Look at these titles.
F-zero GX A GAMECUBE GAME!! It moves blisteringly fast and looks the part as well.
Ni no Kuni, a PS3 game where the actual world you explore has more detail than a lot of the modern crap with blurry as shit textures and lack of detail.
NiGHTS on PS2, these days the Saturn one looks horrible, most 3D games of that era do and the Saturn isn't a 3D powerhouse, the HD version looks a bit to nice, they added to much detail.
Wipeout Pulse, wow another PS2 game, but this game actually looks the part, its to bad we cant just go slow and take in the view.
Sonic allstars racing transformed, of look another racing game, but that amount of detail that flys past you is unbelievable.
Oh yeah and by the way, them games also play very well

You know what thought, at the end of the day they dont mean shit, I have seen games that are nothing more than squares that play better, and simple olde games that look like they are fun, unlike the trash thats coming out now

Its still a moot point for me and probabliy why im just going PC from this gen on

Dur ROM question

Im back and like a horse that's been out in the fields all day then is expected to take its own shoes off and nail on its own slippers im grumpy.

Why don't you use original carts?
Why do you use flash carts?

Heres a question ive been asked in the past and you know what? They can just about feck off. on my games nights I do use flash carts or alternate loading devices, do you know why I use them? Do you really really want to know why? Well bollocks to you im going to tell you anyway.
The main reason is because while having a pile of carts on the table looks nice its not very efficient, also I don't want to own a load of games I my self will never play, I got over that whole "GOTA OWN THEM ALL!" phase years ago, im not impressed by walls of games any more, I don't want to own the likes of Fifa on every bloody console just because some nupty asked for it (Sensi or get lost), sure the odd person will complain, but balls to them the Fifa types rarely come back anyway.

There is also the whole things getting nicked part of it, its a free for all type event, I have had stuff nicked, ive known peoples stuff to get nicked, sure a lot of people that come to these things are ok types of people, they don't want to nick, they don't want there stuff nicked, its all generally ok, but all it takes is one scrote to nick one game with out knowing its value and I have to rebuy it, same goes for discs, actually with discs there's the whole damage thing, some people really do not know how to handle discs (NEVER LEAVE THEM ON THE TABLE!), so instead I have a modded console and a folder full of CD-Rs, sure that don't look as nice, but balls to it,
But seriously have you seen the price of some Saturn games? Its friggen insane!

"But that's illegal"
Ok here we go, the conversation usually goes as follows
"If you own the game you have to rip the ROM your self for it to be legal" Thats bollocks, few have such devices and its still bollocks even if you do as even then its a grey area.
"Its ok if you own the game" Welllll not really, the company wont and dont give a shit, Im yet to see anybody get raided for owning a load of old ROMs, newer consoles on the other hand, but I dont really bother with them, well at least not until no more games are being made of it (meh Wii, but who the bloody hell will buy Just Dance 2015?)
"The company isn't making money off them anymore" actually this is mostly true, Nintendo on the other hand still are and there's other companys that release there older titles on download services and collections like the radcal Sega MegaDrive collections, and the excellent Midway and Taito ones), if its on there well good go out and buy them, but for the most part you will have to buy those collections second hand, so the company wont be getting a penny, its the same with old games, the company wont get any money from a Ebay sale, just the ebay type that most of the time will be over charging anyway.
Sure people will complain but I dont see a Konami collection with the likes of rocket Knight and Paroduis, or a PC engine collection, ITS LIKE THEY DON'T LIKE MONEY FOR THERE OLD STUFF!!

"But its not the same"
Playing games on anything but the host hardware will never be the same, using a flash cart is almost exactly the same, the only difference is instead of taking the cart out you just reset and pick something else, also no matter what USB controller you got, no matter what filters you put on, no matter if you have scan lines on or no matter if you squint, take some acid, get drunk and spin around till you puke, playing on an emulator is a bit of a soulless experience, it will never be as good as host hardware on a old CRT tv and that's why I use flash carts.

Same kinda goes with films, you can have a massive 4k TV and want to watch some old film on it, bunt in the end of the day an old CRT has a glow and a feeling these new TVs dont
DO THE RIGHT THING ONLY USE CRTS!!

Reactionary copy paste

Im back and im in more of a moaning mood than a fellow Brit in a que at B&M when somebodys item dont scan

So a trend on Youtube that I am getting really fed up of is these "React" videos.
It is something that has gone from generally being funny to something that people are just making to get views, there's even reaction videos to vidblogs and to reaction videos.
Things have come a long way from the days of " reacts to two girls one cup" now its just getting lame
Even one of my subbed channels seem to be doing nothing but that these days (Farfromsubtle), I used to like just tuning out to there play thoughts now its all reactions to trailers.
What ever happened to just a simple play through with out the "LOOK LOL IM SO RANDUM LOL OMGZZ"

Them "Teens react to" videos are to blame for this, they have a LOT of over acting and general idiocy, they where funny at the start but its all the same, the breaking point for me was when one said "Whats Zelda?" Are they friggen idiots or something? If it was a game from a series that's practically dead then ok, but Zelda? Nintendo's other big name? Something that all "GAMERZ!" Go mental for every time Nintendo make a new thing for it (BUT ITS GOT A NEW HAT!!), I admit im a Zelda fan, but im glad im not the one to spend ££££ on some new branded bit of tat

What im saying is
Have a bit of originality guys, have some content that don't just apply to the dim, oh wait that's about 90% of the Youtube viewers.

Then again, looking at my videos its no wonder why I don't get many views as it is just me playing a game, most the time I don't even do "Facetime" anymore

Ok I have done some reaction videos in the past this being the most recent one

And on that, 

OI YOUTUBE! If I block a channel that means I DONT WANT TO SEE IT IN THE RECOMMENDED VIDEOS FEED!!

Alienation

Well its about damn time I updated, I seem to be getting a lot of views considering.

Why no updates?
Well in the past few years I did fall into a suicidal depression, lets just say I was very close to offing my self, but that's gone now and I hope its gone for good as its not a good state of mind to be in.
The state of mind where you think that life, no existence is pointless and that every day was an endless loop with only one way out, it all came to a head when i broke down in work and just finally had enough, NOT PLEASANT!!

I am also off the alcohol for a month, just trying to see if I can resist temptation.

Ill be trying to bung out new content every week

Anyway onto the games

I recently got a game called "Aliens clonal marines"
Its a game that got walls of hate because it wasn't perfect, but guess what NO GAME IS PERFECT!
I played it from start to end and guess what, I ENJOYED IT!! I have played a lot worse games, ive played a lot better games, ive played games that are classed as "The best example" and you know what? I DIDN'T LIKE THEM!! Maybe im a magnet for shit games,maybe all the bad ones ive played has made me appreciate the better bad ones, for the price this game goes for you can do a lot worse, just ignore how arse the last boss battle is and enjoy it for what it is. Even if that is a kinda COD Aliens (bit like how we had Alien DOOM all those years ago)

Aliens games have never really crept outside the "Its ok" area, from the one on C64 to Aliens trilogy they are all just "Ok" games so just enjoy them

cheap keyboards cost more

Well I finally did i I broke my "old" keyboard (it fell off the sofa)
Bit of a pisser, so i got a cheap-o one, YES a "Smar price" one, im ypng this on i riht now as you can tell.
I was using my emrancy one for a few days and i have to say those roll up rubber ones are really not worth your time and due to me usin my PC from the sofa its not ideal.
As you can tell I am typing this with mentioned keyboard.

So my "sage like" advice is,
"Ye must never buy cheap ones" unless you want a post like the one above or want to o back threw your writings to sort it all ot.

Blockings

Yes, I have gotten it again, another creative block, well blogging wise I have not in a “WAAAY TO MUCH BLOODY “ paper work way. its quite annoying.

Wait not annoying more like frustrating, I just resurrect this bloody blog. Maybe I am running out of things to write about, maybe its that the time of day it currently is the sun shines on my sofa that the exact point I like to sit at..

Damn it, its really annoying, ill get back to gaming then

Nights of gaming

Ok I have been setting up the fabled Computer Club for about two years now so I feel the need to rant about it.

I think.

Is there anything to rant about?

I don’t think there is as it seems like ive said it all, damn, I really don’t feel like doing a long post about it as it seems a bit pointless. Yes it does! So bugger off.

You haven’t have you?

What’s that you want content to this moan don’t you? Ok content ye shalt have.

Ok maybe there is something, its that after setting it all up most the time I don’t feel like playing much. Its weird, its probably something to do with some of the things I put out are mine, ALL MINE!

I have found my self buying a few games just for the the nights (four of the same Xbox game for example, I mean four copy’s of Halo?)

Yeah setting it up was a bugger at first, but its now organised and it takes me half the time . (Ok over statement as it depends on what I stick out) and its a bloody good work out lugging those TVs and boxes about and it is two times a month (second Friday and last Tuesday) and ok the Friday night one is like a plane with out fuel (yet to take off), but still its there.

At least I don’t charge people to sit down and have a go of what ever I stick out (I take requests just let me know in advance) at the end of the day I will just say “You do the maths” its a simple sum.

Pub + Gaming + others = ???????

(Pro tip a great night out)

What I stick out are some bloody great multi player games (trying to avoid the lone gamer motif) and a few titles nobody has ever really played (I am responsible for a resurgence of Death tank players) and nobody walks away disappointed so its all good, all I can say is pop in some time and have a bloody good go on what ever I stick out and enjoy your self, trust me playing head to head is way better than this online bollocks anyway.

Wii will remember you

Lady's and gentlemen.

Here lies the Wii. It was a machine that broke the walls down, it brought gaming out of the bed room into the living room, it made gaming a for all ages thing, it had its ups and downs, but tech wise it proved that you don't need to be as powerful as a caffeine powered giant hamster in a wheel to provide entertainment for all ages.

It changed things.

Ok in some cases this was a bad thing as it led to the Kinect, one of the worst gaming peripherals in existence *and it to had its own fair share of imitators, most if not all of them coming from China.
For every Zelda there was ten spamware titles, for every Madworld there was ten copy paste spamware titles that only changed the number on the box
But at the end of the day can we say that no games machine was without the spam?
So lady’s, gentlemen children of all sizes I give you the Wii.
It truly was a revolution to gaming to bad about the name.

*But quite good at other things

Jump jump Jump?

Yes i'm back and i'm as annoyed as someone that found out the biscuit jar has been emptied of hobnobs AGAIN!

Jumping, lots of games have a jump button, its the one thing that we know most characters can do, its simple even real people can do it, Van halen wrote a song about it, Girls allowed ruined a Pointer sisters song about it, Kriss kross will make you do it,
Anyway
Its one of those things that’s a one button affair.

But wait, they had to go mess it up, ill tell ye a story of my experience that lead to this moan.
I was at Play Expo but a few weeks back (I was Dan) I got a chance to play the new Devil may cry game, its looks bloody great, but as we all know it can be like Michaela Strachan a few years ago (looks wise), but if it has the personality of one of those goits from Geordie shore* and the entertainment factor of one its shite. I was happily playing the game, ok I won't say “happily” as they kinda spoiled the combat by over complicating it**, I came to a jumping section, in past ones they have been “ok” (in 4 they were bloody annoying) in this? Well lets just say that like the combat they have added something to it, no longer is it a “simple” double jump (they themselves are silly due to what you jumping off while in the air?) it was a long jump followed by press this while holding this then do this, seriously? Add on to this a camera that wanted to move mid jump forcing me to fall and have to do it again and again and again. Why did they need to add more?

KEEP IT SIMPLE!

If Jet set Willy had all this crap it would have been shite, Sonic has this stuff but for the most part its optional and only if you want to show off, why do they need to complicate things?

KEEP IT SIMPLE!
As simple as pressing the “A” button
Or “B”
Or “Up” depending on the game

*Only been forced the adverts for it as one of the channels I watch shows them EVERY SODDING AD BREAK It is cancer for the eyes and brain.

**Really in the middle of a group of enemies I don't want to have to press more buttons and do some sodding QTE.

Oi TV master.......

Yes im back and im still filled with more hatred than a COD fan on a losing streak

People often wonder “Why isn’t there any shows about video games any more?”
Well ill tell you why, the internet.

The Internet is why, think about it for a minute. Why watch half an hour of TV for games news when you can spend ten minutes online reading about it, why spend half an hour waiting for the latest trailer to show when you can go on news sites and see it for your self, why wait a week till the next episode when you can go online and watch something else.

Thing is these days we can get every thing we need to know online in an instant and there’s loads of reviewers online that do a good job (ok some not due to trying to be LOL SO RANDUM) of telling us what they think of the newest stuff.

That is a good thing as bad ones we can ignore there will be no more bad ones like in Bad influence (seriously, they never reviewed Rise of the robots because from series 2 they where sponsored by it and they gave Shaq-fu 4 out of five). Closest we have today TV is Click on BBC news 24, they sometimes cover games, but don’t expect obscure games. There is also the splendid Game Center CX that I recommend to anybody that wants both a good laugh (premise is a Japanese comedian in his late 30s playing some games to the end, the twist is he’s not that good, it has lots of great bits for more info ill plonk a list up of recommended episodes) but even this is a webcast and not really on TV, but its as close as we are going to get.
Why it was good back then was due to lack of internet everywhere and presenters that where funny and got away with all sorts (Look up Gamesmaster the funny bits on Youtube), it was what can be referred to as “the golden age” (8 bits where nearly at an end, 16 bits are coming out then came the 32s) back when TV was watch able as well and wasn’t full of people prancing about on stage pretending to sing.

Even games mags are feeling the internets grasp as why buy a mag when you can just read things about games online, ok most these days are shite, Edge and GamesTM are almost the same thing, (or stuck up there own arses). GamesMaster at least is different and gives us a more “Fun” look at things and gives us freebies of varying quality’s (ARCADE STICKERS!!), but I dont even buy that every month the only one I do is Retro Gamer due to it having content that I cant be arsed to Google up. Plus its hard to read the old computer on the bog. (its hard to wipe your arse on a laptop when you run out of paper).

So then before you start to plan out an awesome video games related show put into perspective that what your doing is probably already being done online and its probably being done cheaper as well.

The returners

Yes im back and im grumpy.

I seem to of lost my domain due to Melbourne IT cocking it up, I was forced into going with them when Microsoft ended out free ride.

What is it of late with series making returns?

All the films of late have been remakes as well. Ok for the most part some of these have been better than the originals, thats not to say the originals are that bad, Judge Dredd was a bad movie that was quite good, but then you see Robocop.

WHAT HAVE THEY DONE!!?

Seriously he looks like a extra from Deus EX, ok so he now looks less like he should fear an electric can opener, but still I suppose they are bringing him to a new generation and thats a good thing, maybe have a cameo from the other Robocop.

But on the other hand there have been good remakes, from Star trek (ok considering that they no longer have any series to milk for films) to anime, yes Dragonball Kai wasn’t as much of a remake as a “Touch and go” WITH EDITS!!

Ok people used to read this as its about my complaints in games, but to be honest for every “Why?” return we have the likes of NiGHTS, yes NiGHTS that game that I bloody love, to bad its download only, but at least it give people that never owned a Saturn or a “Special” PS2 a chance to play it, (Really download it now).

Now we read of Segas “Model 2” games coming out, this is both a good and a bad thing, good as some never got a really good conversion, bad as the PS2 had better than arcade ports of a lot of them, look at Virtual on, its bloody great and it has loads of modes and options that would make Capcoms option menus whimper, its just a shame they where all Japan only, even if some had English options, just hope they are messed with, but not in a gameplay way (The trailer for Viruta Fighter 2 showed the old “Jeffrey teleport bomb” glitch).

So returns are both good and bad

And some are just made to make a extra few quid.

Post writing edit

THEY ARE REMAKING EVIL DEAD!

CAMBELL ISNT IN IT!!?

KILL THEM ALL!!

KILL THEM ALL WITH SHARP POINTY STICKS WITH YEAR OLD CHEESE ON THEM!!

Soon..........

Coming soon

Soul calidurrrrrrr the fifth

Wow a new post.
Sorry life stuff

Anyway on to the review.
Yeah its Soul Calibur 5 (My spell check hates that word)
So what’s to hate about it? Well all I can say it LOTS! BLOODY LOADS! Mags say its a “Return to form” and that its “The best one for ages” well guess what. I call bull shit on that. (expected)
While most the game is the same as usual there have been some changes to it, some for the worse (super moves?).
As per usual ill list them for your reading pleasure.
-Solo no no – Here’s something I rant about a lot, WHERE ARE THE SINGLE PLAYER MODES!!? The Dreamcast version had loads. It had a challenge mode that was loads of fun. There isn’t one in this . There is a story mode, but rather than give you one for each character they give you one and force you to play as the worst characters in the game. Other than that threes a arcade mode, (No ending here folk’s)you get The challenge mode in this one is just loads of cheating Ai characters (don’t know how many cant get past the first bloody person and two versions of vs, (one against random made characters where you can unlock “titles”) so yeah it has mode than most recent Capcom games, but its like a out of date chocolate hobnob. (good but rubbish for dunking and a bit soft)

-Level up! - This is a trend in some recent games, the more you play the higher your level gets. Wining fights in this gives you “XP” the more you get the higher your level and the more you unlock. Well bollocks to that.

-Super moves.- Wow. Way to go Namco, you are really doing this? A move that does loads of damage in one go. Used by the computer to troll the fug out of you

-Throwing – Ok I know throwing is a close up thing but you have to be so close to throw its silly and this games dash is shite and slow so its hard to close ground when the opponent is open for a throw.

-Legend mode – Yeah its annoying to have to fight some one whombs attacks hit high and low and that never stops attacking

-Padded – This is not a pad game for me. Like Virtua fighter is requires a joystick to get the most out of it. (Street fighter on the other hand I can only play on a pad)

-Where are you? – Sometimes things can be a bit to hard to see. The graphics in this game are great but they get in the way. Really detailed backgrounds and the characters tend to blend in. that and all the hit sparks that are flying about. I say it has “To much graphics”. Older ones had simple back grounds so you could see each other. In this? Narr. Yes I am complaining that the grahpics are to good, but mostly its that there is to much going on to see.

-SET AI TO RANDOM!! - this has the worst case of random ai I have seen since Mugen. Some times the computer takes it like a bitch, some times it makes you its bitch. To be more annoying there are times when mid bout the cpu will go from doing bugger all to being a maniac.

-Character creation – I'm not having a full go at this as I have seen some great creations. Its just one thing bugs me about it. Its the moves. You don’t pick them. Ok these are mostly weapon relevant as you cant do Nightmares moves with Maxi, but they could at least of improvised and added more move sets other than the characters in the game. What about those that where in other ones but not this one?

-DLC no way – Yes again on disc things that are DLC later, this includes a new character FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I will forever have a empty character slot.

-The final – Ok SPOILER ALERT!! Its Nightmare, he’s shit, he has a super that can take almost all your life bar. And a I
TROLL U kinda power field that pushes you away that he does when you are getting in a few good moves.

-Doing the rounds – You are stuck on three. Three shall be the number of the rounds and the number of the rounds shall be three. Seriously there is no way to change it.

-In the end – Well you do arcade mode and all you get is a list of the fastest times. No ending. No special win pose. Just times. WHY NOT CALL IT TIME TRAIL MODE THEN!!? You don’t even unlock anything. There is no point to playing threw it. Soul Calibur had a picture to look at and a bit of text. This was a ending. This game has times THIS IS NOT A ENDING!!

-”Don’t use him he’s lame” - Said before but the story mode is bloody lame. For the story you get a doodle and some text. Then on to playing as some of the worst characters in the game. The female is annoying(“I'm sorry””Run away” “I don’t want to hurt you” really?) her only redeeming feature is her “Knee to the groin” attacks. Well if you don’t want to hurt some one why attack there and WHY FIGHT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!?, the male is tedious with few moves of interest. Then later on you get to play as other people that have moves. Why not make it for each character. Considering that all you are using is pictures to tell the story why not?

Over all.
Well they say that fighting games are not really made for single player’s, but how hard is it for them to at least chuck in a survival mode? I know I rant about the lack of single player love a lot, but it is a major thing. I know I have said it before but the first Soul Calibur (I know its a sequel to Soul edge/blade) had modes all over the place. A lot of them where multi player. Multi player options on the new one? vs.
CONTENT GUYS! I know the world is going online made, but thats no excuse for lack of single player.

Oh and smeg off with your DLC characters

See all that and I didn't even say how hot Ivy still looks. WHIP IT GOOD!!!!

TL;DR - Playin mates? = Get. Playin solo? Get first or 2

Egg shaped balls

Ok I admit it, I have bought a EA sports game. No its not a Fifa Sensible Soccer is way better anyway. Nor is is one of there American sports games that has very little appeal to anybody outside the US. Its a old Rugby game. Yes I am a fan of that manly sport. Its a shame that its overlooked when it comes to games as a matter of fact the y only seem to some out during the Rugby world cup. We got two last year. Both none EA. Ones a sequel to the highly rated Johnna Lammu rugby the others the official one,but it has a problem, it has a certain company’s logo on it. Its, ii hate to say 505 Software. For those that don’t know of them (you lucky lucky bastard) they came to power in the PS2 days and released loads of Japanese games, “Fantastic” you might be thinking. You poor misguided fool, its not the stuff you want, its not the stuff the Japanese want, its the cheap crap, they games that nobody gave a rats arse about. Not only that they took a half arse approach to them (and gave them a manual that’s just a bit of a4 paper folded into a book),.

Its not surprising that everybody that played it said it was shite.

So what’s the problem with making them?

Controlling the players? All you need is move, pass (left and right), punt (thats kick it) and score a try. If attacking. If defending all you need is tackle.

Everything else (throw-in, scrums, conversions can be done with one button and the pad.

Not that hard is it?

Ok the CPU players need to be a bit smart other wise it would end up like Leeds vs a high school team. (or bloody easy), other than that what else is there?

Graphics? Make it blue blocks vs red for all I care. As long as it plays well im a happy chappy.

Official player and team names? For all I care they can be called Chaz and Dave. I have a crap memory for names anyway.

At the end of the day its a sport that isnt that famous, but the amount of fans are growing so pander to them.

Come on EA at least give us one game every now and then and stop with the bloody NASCAR ones as its bloody pointless . You can make 3 Fifas a year so why not one Rubgby one every few years.

Things I hate about a game I like Zelda Skyward sword

Well heres something I said id do, but I have been busy playing games (for a change) so last weeks moan was kinda missing (its on my phone, but its annoying to retype things. So instead heres another one on waiting.

He waits thats what he does.

Ok I wont instead heres a things I hate about a game I like and in keeping with this being a moan and I said id do this one it is for recent game

Zelda Skyward Sword

Yes you have probably read loads of reviews about it and why its so damn good, but im going to say what I found is bad about it.

Because I can.

So if you don’t like click the red X now for the rest of you that want to know little flaws about it read on.

I will say that this game is bloody good. Really really good, but there are flaws, annoyances and here they are.

Heres the main one

• Its to easy – From bosses to puzzles to the game its self I rarely felt challenged and any challenge was due to the control’s them selfs rather than what was in front of me and speaking of the control’s.

• The err control’s – Granted this is a Wii game so it had to use them and it was a good idea, but there is times when the Wiimote had to be centred this was a lot of the time. Thankfully this was a case of pressing down on the D-Pad. So maybe Nintendo knew about this possible problem? Some times the game didn’t do the sword slash in the direction I told it to. On some bits this is annoying. Doing the Skyward strike (hold the Wiimote in a vertical position) is a pain as the Wiimote kept thinking I just wanted the sword help up.

• Flying – Ok the bird goes where you want it to. Unless its up then it slows down. Flying is boring as nothing really happens in the sky’s. Just the odd tornado. At least in Wind waker the seas had things.

• Swimming – If you haven’t done the swimming bit you will and you will hate it

• Fi – Shes like a less vocal Navi. Three hearts “ding ding” “You are running out of hearts master” and giving not very good advice.

• Z-targeting – You have to hold the button down and the problem with that is its not a nice button to hold down for a long time. In other post Ocarina of time Zeldas you could have it as a toggle. Also you cant use it to target with ranged weapons.
• Crafting – Pointless on some items, annoying to have to upgrade things you need to be big.
• Not all connected - Come on guys in the other games everything was one big open world that you could travel between. Ok its in the sky and you fly down the holes to get to them, but what if we just want to go by land? Nope you cant. These makes everything feel like separate sections and its a bit tedious to have to go to the sky and fly a bit to get to them.
• Three areas – Come on three areas? (Forest, desert, volcano). Ok they are big, but three of them?
• No exploring – As I said you fly to these bits there’s a few islands most are lumps of rock, past Zelda games have load loads of exploration this one don’t.
• The harp - Oh wow, wave the Wiimote left and right to play. AT LEAST IF IT WAS A COWBELL IT would have been MORE INTERACTIVE!!
• People that say “Its not very original” - Yeah its a sequel, they tend to be samy if not people will complain, but this at least it trys NEW THINGS!
• People that complain about the graphics – Really? Its on the bloody Wii
• The imprisoned boss – The most copy paste boss it gets annoying when it gets a power up, but thankfully somebody else helps out later on
• Zeldas nose – Cant help but think that its a massive honker.

Ok these are the faults, but it is a damn good game. Its a Nintendo made Zelda game and they are usually good and this is no exception to this rule. Its just a few small things annoy me about it.

Just buy the damn game and enjoy it as its good.

BBC = Bloody Bullshite Cancellations

Well here's another none game based moan, but again it can be linked with games in several ways first one to mind is that a few games get canned as well.

According to recent news thingys the BBC has cancelled all new Shooting Stares episodes.

I read it first off Bob Mortimer
Oh yes.
BBC have decided to not make another series of the classy Shooting stars. Granted its one of those “Its not as good as it was” series, but it was still good. It was still funny. It was still better than most the shite the BBC puts out.
I mean look at what one.
Its ok I can wait.

Bet there’s none of it of interest. This is normal.
BBC1 has not been on in months in my flat and all that 3 is good for is repeats BBC 2 still has some watch-able programming on for about 4 hours a week. BBC 3 on the other hand seems to be nothing but “Who gives a fuck” programming. With such delights as the grammatically incorrect “Lee Nelsons Well good show” Is that name meant to be ironic? There is nothing good about it. Its just programming for chavs. The rest is reality TV (very rarely entertaining) and Family guy/American Dad repeats. BBC 4 on the other hand.
Well they where going to make it go off air for good, but that was stopped thanks to a petition. Why? Well its a channel that has a lot of good stuff on. Ok there’s a fair bit of crap on there, but it has some good documentary’s and it was the start for Qi

But why are they doing this?
Well its part of there cost cutting measures and the first thing to go are “Panel comedy shows”
BALLOCKS TO THAT!! They are the only things that are funny. After the flop that was Mrs Browns boys (gave me a headache is was so not funny) and Coming of age, more unfunny crap other than that you are screwed
Ok there is Not going out that was kinda funny (Hint to BBC the word comedy means funny).

Also herd that there’s going to be more repeats.
Oh fucking goody
It seems all I am paying my TV license for is !I, Have I got news for you, Never mind the buzzcocks, Dr Who, Radcliffe and Maconie and errr
Yeah I don’t know
It seems people like me are paying to not watch anything good.
I just hope my part isn’t being spent on that program with people fannying about in posh cloths.

Truth be said its not about the whole panel show thing. Its about the comedy. Them two have been responsible for many a tear of laughter running down my cheek.
Lets see Lee Nelson do that.

There comedy programming has gone down hill since the Office so fuck you Gerevas
Still had to get that off my chest

And don't get me started on there lack of respect for Sky at night.
ITS THE ONLY PROGRAM THEY MAKE THAT IS NEVER ON iPLAYER!!

Viral advertising

Well if you probably haven’t seen there’s a new game out.

Same as more or less every week and there is one thing that annoys me a bit about them.

Its not he game its self if it don’t take my interest I just ignore it. Its some thing else. Its something that people say sells games.

Its the advertising.(no more “Its” starting a sentence now) Cast your gaze towards Kotaku of late and your eyes will be insulted by a game called Skyrim (random gifs of what I think is the main character doing the normal macho yelling in a rather generic 300 way) , a game that few will of noticed or even given a toss about if it wasn’t advertised all over the bloody site. Seriously its like the site is saying “OMG YOU MUST BUY THIS GAME” “SELL YOUR KIDNEYS IF YOU DONT HAVE THE CASH, YOU MUST HAVE IT! ITS GOING TO BE THE BEST GAME EVER” (I lied)

For a better visual representation for those reading this in the near future when the game is in all the bargain bins and people stopped giving a toss for the new flavour of the month, picture that bit in Back to the Future part 2 when Marty goes into that “80s restaurant” and he gets that screen telling him “YOU MUST TRY THE DEEP FRYED SPECAIL” (Or something) only for him to order a Pepsi. That’s kinda what it feels like to see loads of adds forced upon me.

I’m glad I don’t really watch TV. As I hate to have adds flung at me. (at least there’s no radio adds for it).

The thing is now it seems to be having a opposite effect.

Games that are over advertised to the point of becoming like having them tattooed on my eyes by the advertisers become ones that I hate and stuff that I wont buy. (think coca Cola and McDonalds, but they are also a question of taste). So im kinda glad that Zelda 2011s only really advertised in mags. On one page.

But then the Zelda name is advertising its self.

Its advertising that what lies inside its box is not going to be shite. (pushing the CD-I ones off a cliff into a pit of Ravenous Bugblatter beats from Traal.

Along with the CD-I as it was arse.

Really it was arse.

Not even a pleasant arse like one of Kyle its one of the afore mentioned beast.

After a bad curry.

Anyway CD-I hate ends here as there fans of it that will rage (still comments below are welcome)

Thanks for reading.

Sonic generations problems

Ok so I played Sonic Generations at Replay and it was good.

Very good.

Really I spent a few hours on it.

It really feels like Sega read the guidelines I did in my "Perfect Sonic game" moan I wrote all that time ago, but there's is a few things that bugged me about it. These are off the top of my head.

• Why is it one act each and not two acts and a boss each?

Come on its not like its would be hard to do it. Ok having the same boss in 3D and 2D would prove a bit challenging, but at least give us the classic "swinging ball" boss from Green hill zone (with a few new tricks). The levels are longer than normal .(It dont take 60 secounds to do the first), but come on Sonic games have 2/3 acts (Ok not all, but most) and they are big with a few different routes threw them, but then so did Sonic 3. Speaking of. Where was a Sonic 3 level? (Sonic 3 and Knuckles don't count). How about next time having some levels from none main series Sonics?

• Why cant I just go from one stage to another with out all that level select stuff?

Come on how many people want this? The feeling of going from level to level with out all the damn level select thing.

• Why so few levels?

9 levels? Ok so they got most the famous ones, but come on less isnt more more is more and people like me like more.

• Not down and jump for spindash

Really? They had to add a extra control for Classic Sonic?

• Hints

"When you get hit you lose rings" Really? Do we need info like this? A game targeted at Sonic fans and your giving out hints like that? Or is it a pisstake.

There is probably more, but as I said these are off the top of my head and the game did trigger a sense of nostalgia while I played it and was bloody good. Its just the moaning side of me hated these problems