EBay? THIS IS MARKET!

You know what here's another gaming related thing that makes me want to get my moan on and it starts with a little story flashback thing.

So I was on a local market the other day on the look out for the usual games related bargains to be had. I had already got a few cheap games off someone and on another somewhat empty stall I spotted a boxed up Sega Saturn (mark 1 can tell by the some what battered box) and a boxed wheel and four games (The ones that are not hard to get). So naturally I ask “How much is that games machine?”
Now stand by the next line will shock you.
“£90”
“That's a bit to much” standard reply from me on over priced things like that.
“Well that's what it goes for on Ebay”
And there you have it
Its the “Internet/Ebay” excuse for pushing the price up to more than it is I mean Saturn's don't go for that much with that amount of games.
What are these people on?
IF YOU WANT EBAY PRICESE SELL ON EBAY and then you will see that its over priced. This isn't the first time that the Ebay excuse has happened to me. Another one was a few years ago on a car boot some where in North Wales I spotted a Atari 2600 (Junior) it had its box (no inserts, very tatty and torn) and a copy of Combat I as always wnet over to have a look at it. Cue some scrawny little sod that smelled of cigarettes.
“Oh sure have a look” “These things are getting hard to come by”
I ask “How much”
He says “£100”
As I turn around and walk away I hear him say “That's cheaper than it goes for on the internet” (this was before Ebay became a house hold name and everywhere had the internet)
I just waved over my shoulder and wandered off.
It seems like “The internet/Ebay” excuse is used by clueless morons that don't really have a clue what there selling. Fair enough they are trying to make money off people that seem like they don't know what there buying (note I do try to sound like a numpty), but at that price off a market seller?
How do I know it works? Its not like I can see it working or know there address.
These people are probably not even going to be on the same stall next week,
So here's my wise cracking lines to answer back to these people.

Say this “Well if this was that would be a bargain” For extra effect slap on a bit of slang from that decade or say “Is that in Yen?”
“That's what it goes for on ebay/internet”
There's a few for this one “Well sell it on there then” is one “Do you take Paypal?” That could go wrong if they say “Yes” or you could go to the extreme if you have a internet connection to hand and show them they are wrong.
Or you could just say “You sir are a idiot”
As these people are idiots.

The Moaners new clothes

Well its time to get my moan on. This one is only video game related and a bit of a short one.
Well in the past week I decided that I needed some new clothes as I have had the same ones for years. So I went online (don't judge me on this local places are to expensive) and low and behold video games T-Shirts (there's the related thing). One thing annoyed me about them and it is this.
The Faded look.
Why would anyone want to pay a tenner for what looks like a second hand t-shirt? I mean back when I last got a load of T-shirts they looked new and some still do to this day and that's how I like to buy new clothes. You know LOOKING NEW!
To me this looks like a fashion trend that was forced upon us as now I cant find a decent new looking shirt (dropping the “T” from now on) Ok its great for those that try to blag that they have been into for years, buts what's wrong with a shirt looking new? I ain't paying silly money for clothes that looks second hand when I would be better off trying my luck in second hand/charity shops. Granted they don't have the same selection and its all down to luck but still IF I WANT SECOUND HAND LOOKING CLOTHES ID BUY THEM FROM THERE!!

The death of the normal console

Well its about time I did a moan like this. This weeks moan is going to be about the death of what you can call a classicy made console and by that I mean in terms of the main game storage means and that its a games console and that's it, nothing else.
In the past games consoles where simple things. Buy game, plug in, play (not forgetting to pick up the damn pad and turn the TV on the right channel) these days you can buy the game and install I. Or buy game and download it or buy game online. It seems that the old way of just buying a game for a recent console is gone. I mean look at the trouble I had with Super Street Fighter 4
>Try to play on my 360.
>Four red lights (check TV cable)
>Arse around with VGA cable for five minutes whilst stating my hatred for modern day consoles.
>Finally get the damn thing to work.
>Put in Super Street Fighter 4 disc
>Updates.(I haven't take it online or bought a recent game in years)
>Wait ten minutes for them to install
>Start game
>You need to make a avatar
At this point im starting to get pissed off as I just wanna play the damn game
>Quickly make one
>Start game
>Asks if im online
>MORE SODDING RAGE!!
>Finally play the damn game

Yeah that. I realise that if I did buy a few new games the update thing wouldn't be a problem, but it shouldn't be this much hassle to play a game.
Now with E3 just finished there's even more gaming related crap that's gonna make the simple joys of sitting on the couch pad in hand a thing of the past. What's wrong with that? THATS THE WAY WE LIKE IT! We are not all these damn idiots that thing that shite like Wiifit is a game and think that “I really do have to buy that plastic attachment to enjoy this game” I blame the Wii.
So what do I think was the last traditional “Plug in and enjoy” console? In my eyes that was the PS2 sure it had stuff like a hard drive, internet gaming and that Eyetoy, but it wasn't shoved into our faces and the hard drive didn't even make it over to the UK(It left us with a massive hole to fill in the back its a great place to put your memory cards). The Eyetoy was fun for a bit, but all you where doing was flailing your arms round like Kermit the frog when he's running away from Ms Piggy when she has her rape face on with a dilldo and lube. Annnnnnnnnnyway moving on think about it (not the ms Piggy thing unless that floats your boat you dirty fecker. It would be like tossing a sausage down a alleyway). Any way back ON TOPIC NO MORE MS PIGGY SHES A MUPPET!! Yeah the PS2 traditional games that where mostly about single player or local multi-player. There was no download only games, there was no installing (only via homebrew), no updating the system. It was simple and THATS HOW I LIKE IT!
The only thing I didn't like was the look of it, but I torched on that in “Console arseytechture”
These days they are more like PCs only without the need for upgrading or the risk of viruses (SHUT IT MACFAGS!) and have to many expensive crappy add-ons. The installing thing is ok, but it isn't the same feeling as getting the game off the shelf and putting it into the drive/slot and sitting down pad in hand and enjoy.
Thanks for reading

Moanin about E3 Ubisoft

Ok Ubisoft time
Start up with Child Eden a REZ sequel of sorts. I will start by saying that it is not like REZ as it isn't as musical. People that played the first REZ will know that shots fired in REZ kinda match the music, in this it doesn't. Probably wont be as good. Even if it looks more sparkly Kinda akin to a Jeff Minter game. Wasn't the first by Sega anyway?
Assassins Creed Brotherhood - So this one is going to be more about online gubins and less about single player? Yay FMV as most people haven't had enough of this already. Building story up is probably best for people that end up buying the game. Ok so now some of the game in play. There's a bit with a canon that seems a bit annoying. So yeah it is more of the same game wise
ShaunWhite – Open with something that looks like a trainer advert. Que talking about Mr Whites life THIS ISNT A FUCKING INTERVIEW SHOW SOME GAMES! It seems like a good idea with some-kind of skateboard of joy making a dull world fun and a game that transforms as you play seems good.
Que some people from a local Laser Quest wandering round it is in-fact something called “Battle Tag” “The thing you guys have been waiting for”? Didn't Sega do a home laser quest with the Lock-on? This seems like fun and yet probably will only be so for a few minutes
Que some more tat. Something to help you breathe pass
Motion Sports – Didn't I do this one already? Yes I think I did. PASS!
You know what's great about not watching these live?
I CAN SKIP THEM!
New Rayman Rabbits game – DONT CARE!
Ghost Reckon – YARGABLLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Driver – FMV REALLY!! Unlike in the Need for speed game this is more like a chase game as there are cars in the way. Heck its more like a city. It could be interesting.
Project Dust – Nice FMV bro needs some of the game in play.
Rayman - Funny intro. 2D GAME!!! it works best as 2D well Rayman 3 was ok, but felt a bit broken. I shall look forward to this till it becomes a download only then I AM DISAPPONT!
Mainaplanet – User created games are always hit and miss, but I am interested in this as I like to make things
Michael Jackson – Urgh they really should of made this a lot sooner. Ok its not a game WHATS IT DOING IN E3??

Overall the Ubisoft one was average, but at least unlike the other ones this was more or less games with a bit of crap

Moanin about E3 - EA

Ok its EA time.
I have a history of hate with them as they embody everything I hate about the games industry. So expect me to hate every damn thing they show.
Opens with FMV no surprises there and it turns out to be a new Need for Speed game. “Take it back to its routes” “Re-imagen” Urgh hate it already. Never got on with the need for speed games and this looks like it wont change things. Que waiting for it to load then a FMV sequence that EA loves. While I admit that the idea of taking part in a car chase seems good. Where are the other cars on the road? Why not have traps in the cop car to get them? A spike trap would probably make it more fun.
“Need for speed is back” did it ever go away?
I'm quoting this “Ten great games from ten great company's” Expect shit. Ok maybe not as much if it was “Ten great games from EA” as we all know these company's that make games for EA can make good ones. Then EA comes along and tells them to “Hurry up” and take stuff out so they can add it as a download later.
Dead space 2. I am not going to criticise a game series that I haven't played, ok maybe a little. It seems to have FMV coming out all over the place. To me it just looks like another over the shoulder shooter.
Medal of honor. It leaves World War two as they have done it to death (why always the damn Americans?) and goes to the middle east. Wooo there's some thing new. I covered this in the Sony one.
Battlefield Bad company Vietnam expansion pack. Was met wit ha solitary clap. What's up US? Still pissed off about Nam? Talking about download only stuff SCREEEEEEEEEEW YOOOU EA!
MMA – Two fighters have signed up so far I look forward to a Street Fighter character select screen. Live broadcasting seems like a good idea. With people to criticise your fights. Just hope the game ends up being good other wise this “idea” will bomb faster than .
EA sports Active 2 – To easy PASS! (But lol multi Platform).
Madden NFL – Ill pass. Id be more interested if it wasn't such a rubbish sport.
Sims 3 – Or Big Brother the game. Both are boring shit. Why is he comparing Greek gods to “The Sims”? Note no video footage just pictures if I wanted to see pictures of a game id read a magazine. PASS!
More FPS talk. Great isn't it?
Cyrsis 2 – Why are they showing promo artwork? Oh finally in game footage. iphone adds in game? While I will say that the cinematics look good that's all they do. Oh goody here's more of it with more slow motion than that nipple slip bit in that film with that lass.
Bullet storm – Wooo a FPS. Urgh art work of the game. ACTION IS BETTER!! Looks like they have Dukes mighty boot only powered up a touch. It looks like it might be fun if it had a “Shut the hell up” button as where as the mentioned Duke spoke he didn't have verbal diarrhoea. Looks like the type of game that will get boring quite quickly.
Star Wars the new game – Yawn More FMV with slow motion.

In closing the EA one had lots of pretty pictures. That is not what people go to a show to see as its not a art gallery and a over use of FMV where as this makes a good movie it makes a lousy game. It EA one was not as bad as the Sony one it was still rubbish.

Moaning about E3 - Microsoft

So then MicroSoft.
There's starts with stuff blowing up. Then it switches to ANOTHER WAR THEAMED SHOOTER!!
Ill pass, as I really cant be arsed with another copy paste shooter. Oh wait I can pass as im not watching this one live.
Ahhh thats better “Looks absolutely stunning” MY NICELY ROUNDED ARSE IT DOSE!! It looks the fucking same. oh look the guy on stage is going on about DLC BEFORE THE GAME IS OUT! Why not PUT IT ON THE BLOODY DISC?
Now hes on about Kinect PASS!
Metal Gear Solid as a “Action game” thats easy if they take out all those damn cut scene.
Wit this is different it looks more like a “Hack and slash” So its not a MGS game then. Hit and mis if you ask me as them games tend to be about not being seen.
Oh great Gears of War 3....................................PASS!! I played the first and hated it and it looks like the series hasn't changed.
Fable 3. Yet to play the second as I hear its buggy to hell and feels rushed. Fable 3 though looks ok, but more along the same lines.
Kingdoms “footage” was shown nice advert bro.
New Halo they kill off the main character, say its the last one and them go on to make even more. Pass as it looks EXACTLY THE SAME!!
“Halo introduced people to multi-player gaming” STOP TALKING OUT OF YOUR ARSE! Ace Ventura did that and it was funny your doing it and its just shit coming out.
On to Kinect voice command seems interesting for the lazy people that are to lazy to press a damn button. Why use a 360 to listen to music when there are devices that do the same thing only better.
I wonder what this “Video chat” will be used for? Go on chat roulette to get the idea. Well watching videos together seems like a good idea if you don't want them over.
Is it me or are these newer consoles becoming less about gaming and more about using it as a PC?ESPN on demand would be nice, but none of the sports interest a nerdy sod like me. Que some classic American over acting. Its not called “Soccer” its called Football, but then they are Americans so they are messed up already as they call Puffy Rugby Football.
SHOW ME GAMES!!!
Ok Kinect games
Kinetcamals (sp) It looks like Nintendogs only if the dog has been eaten by the tiger. This is both creepy and weird.
On to the inevitable sports game this is like “Track and field” on a dance mat. Its been said before and im saying it again it looks like a damn Wiisports clone, but with more games.
It seems like a more advanced Eyetoy and will probably end up being treated like one with loads of shovel-ware crap that ends up in bargain bins.
It would be nice if they stopped showing “Adverts”
You shape? Well mine is slightly rounded till I get motivated to start exercising again.
Dance Central. Oh look a dancing game that hasn't been done before. They guy dancing sounds like he has tasted cock a few times so hes the target male audience for this game.
Star wars – The new cash-in. This seems like it will be fun. For about five minutes it will be great if it has surround sound on it.
Forza. WOW YOU CAN WALK AROUND THE CAR!!! You can do that in real life as well. So for them the new way to play racing games is it act like a 5 year old playing racing cars and hold a pretend wheel.

This Kinect thing seems like a load of crap a advanced Eyetoy well at least unlike the other motion controllers this one can run on junk food and alcohol to keep going.

360 Slim Note to Sony this is how to do a hardware rebuild. It looks like a do want as its a full upgrade. FREE 360s? WISH I WAS THERE!!! LUCKY BASTARDS!!

Over all the Mircosoft one like the Sony one is mostly “Look at our new thing” it was better than the Sony one but not as good as the Nintendo one.
Free gamesthings are always nice.

Moaning about E3 Sony

So then Sonys E3 thingy
Opens with the move so already im annoyed. NO SIR I DONT LIKE IT!!
Comparing his stage to U2s one. His wont hold Bonos ego.
“PS3 is the only console for all the family” Well you got films, for all, games for all, box for baby, and internet porn for the rest.
So he goes on about “3D HD” Urgh more bloody 3D stuff I think its best to say “You must beat Nintendo's 3DS to stand a chance” screw eyeware. I don't wanna buy a new TV and some shitty glasses to play a game. I want this guy to stop talking about 3D and what the PS3 is capable of.
Oh look A GAME!! Killzone 3 was met with whoops from the fanboys. Bloody hell he's talking about single player in a game. I have the first and will get round to playing it when It gets a bit darker out as at the moment I CANT SEE ANYTHING!! What's to be said its a FPS and it one that has been styled in the manner we have all seen before. It might be good to play, but as I said its things we have seen before. “Epic cinematic experience” what he means is loads more sitting there waiting for this FMV bit to end. Play station move comparable so you an hold a pretend to hold a gun and not enjoy it as much.
Urgh more damn 3D talk GT 3D!!!!!!!
I don't care.
LOL a baseball game using “Move” best make sure there's no kids around.
Now back to the “In game footage” to be honest nothing takes my fancy. Its THE SAME STUFF AS LAST YEAR AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT!
Urgh sales talk from someone that seems like he don't like games and is just employed as he can talk sales bollocks.
LOL Sony talking about “Innovation” EVERY THING YOU HAVE MADE HAS BEEN DONE BEFORE!!
Speaking of there innovation heres the “Move” moaned about it before I WANT A FAST FORWARD BUTTON!!
WOW FINNAL HE STOPS TALKING ABOUT HOW GOOD THE MOVE IS!!
Sorcery looks ok, but will be one of those games that gets forgotten and is probably nothing more than a playable tech demo that's fun for a few minutes then gets tedious. I think it would sell more if it had the Harry Potter name on it as it looks a lot like that.
Oh goody sports games Tiger Woods with a motion controller? CoughWiicough. This game isn't one for watchers its one for players and golf is best played with clubs OUTSIDE!! this game was bad for those with low ceilings.
Heroes on the move. Sorry but this just looks like another damn 3D plat-former with added arm-waving.
Woooo Playstation move with Coca Cola two things that I DONT WANT!! (The Cola is bloody horrible).
Que some guy I don't know cracking jokes that aren't that funny cracking gaming phrases that he probably read online trying to be “Down with da gamerz” STOP TALKING ABOUT THE FUCKING MOVE!! SHOW SOME DAMN GAMES!! He's like a damn motivational speaker. I need a fast forward button NOW!!
Que more Move talk. Wow prices of these things I probably wont buy unless they are cheap. They are talking about games already out?
So many tech demo's disguised as games with a remix of “I like to move it move it” SEE WHAT THY DID THERE?
Time Crisis? It wont feel right without a plastic gun and a trigger.
BLOODY HELL SOMETHING OTHER THAN THE MOVE!!!
Damn I hate Sonys new adverts for the PSP and the kid that they are using GENARICCOULERD KID holding a PSP with game footage that IS NOT PASTED ON LATER! Yeah people aren't buying the PSP due to lack of good games. There are good games its just that they know how easy it is to pirate games on the DS. Sad to say it PRIACY SELLS CONSOLES!! but also means that games company's don't get paid as much
New God of War now I'm interested Sony cant seem to keep to there ideas of “Trilogy”. Heck Duglas Adams kept to the ideas of a trilogy better than these guys.
Little big planet 2 I admit with this I want to play it as I'm a bugger for messing round with things and making stuff. This looks very interesting as it don't have the move to drag it down.
Wut charging for a online”Gold” service? Isn't that a backwards step?
I think its time for a brew as this guy seems to have verbal diarrhoea.
New Medal of honour A WAR GAME I HAVENT SEEN ONE OF THESE!! and its set in Afghanistan THATS A NEW ONE! FECK OFF!! Id rather play Killzone as it looks fun this just looks like the same old tired shite I have seen coming out again and again and again.
Dead Space 2 nice to see EA using QTEs and FMV a load of times. They seem to be forgetting about playing the damn game.

Is it me or are they talking about “limited edition” packs a bit to much?

PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!! PORTAL 2!!
Ok it was welcomed by the voice of Glados that sent shivers down my spine. On walks Gabe and got a laugh outa me. Wait is it PS3 only? Still it got manly tears of joy out of me and looks really good.
Final Fantasy in my opinion is the most over rated series in existence and a MMO in its styling's interests me not. So from now on are they all gonna be online?
It would be nice if he stopped talking about PS3 exclusive content.
Gran Turismo 5 they are doing what they have been doing with every other Gran Turismo game and that is “Oh look at that FMV isn't it shiny” playing racing games from that angle should never be done. Just show us the game in play not this FMV bullshit.
Infamous 2 SHOW US THE DAMN GAME IN PLAY NONE OF THIS...............Read above.
Twisted Metal SHOW.........read above above. At least the guy in the van was some visual candy.
Ok the game in play. Blowing shit up in a city. This looks good. Games where the objective is to blow shit up are better than games where you have to think about shooting things.

In closing the Sony one was one that let me not type as fast as the Nintendo one and was bloody shite with only one game that really got me considering buying it.
Still at least I wasn't typing as fast as I was at the Nintendo one and WILL THEY SHUT UP ABOUT THERE FECKING MOVE!!