Monday 6 June 2011

Moaning about E3 - Microsoft

Welcome to Moaning sod does E3 same thing as last year, but with more editing and trying to keep it to one page.

A few things where already leaked (Halo sodding 4 and the remake) and a lot of it is crap. Will the conference prove not to be?

COD 11. Lulz errors. Great to have a bit of humour to break the ice. Like farting at a interview (Hold it in doods) Its very underwater. Looks impressive, but then so did FMV games in the 90s. I’m trying not to think how all that water might mess up his gun. Lots of set peace’s, looks impressive, but it just looks like ANOTHER SOILDER BOY GAME! Its a COD, urgh its becoming like Fifa EVERY YEAR! To bad this is streamed live as I would be skipping this.

Tomb Raider. Urgh interest levels are almost flat lining. Lots of running and QTEs. Thanks Sega for making them popular. At least there’s some in game footage.

Oh dear EA sports guy. Im going to play a game as this is just sending me to sleep. Kinect and EA sports games, double the arse. None of the pleasure.

EA are only good as a publisher. Not a developer and now...

Mass Effect 3, with Kinect functions. FINALLY something that at least seems interesting. WOW the first game to make a decent use of the Kinect a side from waving your arms in the air like you just don’t care.

Ghost recon. URRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! Another game about playing solider!

Its not often I say this but”For fucks sake” piss off with these playing solider games. “Make your own guns using Kinect” expect loads of the same guns online.

Kinect crap Oh wow. Voice commanded console. Not interested in the slightest. These things are very hit and miss as there’s these things called “Accents” that get in the way.

Watching live TV on your Xbox. Is it me or is that a bit backwards? YOUR USING A TV! Very backwards. The UFC thing seems interesting, but its only or people that are nerdy about it.

Gears of War 3, the only good ting I can find about it is the tune there using on the adverts. Wasn’t this shown last year as well? Playing it with someone called “Ice-Tea” his parents must have been retarded (sarcasm). Ohhhhh he’s done a little song for it. Odds on it will be crap.

Ryse a game where you do the moves and the game follows it. Yawn

Halo arrrrgh skip! Where’s the damn skip button? Oh wait! ITS LIVE! A remake of Halo. Well unlike Konamis recent one this is one OF THE FIRST GAME!

Forza 4. Urgh bloody horrible song with samples of Ozzy Ozzborne covering another song. Its a “realistic” driving game so balls to it.

Fable the journey. Fable started out as a massive game, something that was unique. Now there farting them out a hell of a lot. WITH ADDED KINECT! Bollocks to it.

MINECRAFT!! WITH KINECT!! finally something of interest on it that looks like a game (of the 80s). Typical nothing was shown and yet we get ages of the other not intersting crap

Disney land adventures. HA HA HA! On Kinect. Now you dont have to take them. Not! Call me weird, but I don’t want to see some nine year old's arse flying in front of me. Good job this game inst for me

Kinect Star Wars, hur hur hur hur hur. Behold shite that’s better done on a pad. Nice visible delay from what your doing and what hes doing. Its to active for most Star wars fans and from that we go to......

Sesame Street. THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE COME TO E3 FOR!

More Kinect crap. Wow it can make a avatar that looks kinda like you. I don’t want it. I want mine to look nothing like me. Its fun like that.

Saying top selling Kinect game is like saying “Best selling game on game.com” they are all crap, Ill say it again. Minecraft nothing, shitty sports game packs lots.

Dance central 2. Urgh.

Halo 4. Urgh

Over all

This was a epic shit fest. But shit with sprinkles in it, You have to dig threw the shit to find it.

What happened to Steel Batalion? Where are the 360 games that use the pad?


TL:DR MY GROWNING GLAND IS WORN OUT!

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