Friday, 26 February 2010

My next generation

Next Gen?

Ok this moan is going to be about people referring to the current generation of consoles as “next gen”.
In the past a lot of us looked forward to this “Next generation” of consoles. Back when it was the bit wars era the next gen was always a number that was double what it was, but then came along the Dreamcast and it died down a bit for us all as the makers stopped boasting about who many bits it was and so ended the bit wars. What bit would we be on now? 256? Well the 360 must be wrongly titled as 360 isn't 256x2 unless it is called a 360 due to the circle on the front?. Maybe the PS3 is called so due to it having the power of three Psones and the Wii is called the Wii due to it…..................?
Anyway that's all of pondering why the Wii is called a Wii as its no longer 2006.

Annnnnyway so next gen or the current gen as it should be known.
Its a eerie thought that the Dreamcast is retro when I remember it being called “Next Gen” and now its in Retro gamer as a bit of video games history. So does this mean that in ten more years the 360/PS3 will be in Retro gamer?(that's if the printed media is still going in ten years). Will we be looking back and saying “Wow remember Portal? What a great game that was” and then buying it online to play on our PS4s(Im guessing on the title here).
While people like me moan that this next gen of consoles has robbed us of the pleasure of holding a new game in our hands.
So can people stop referring to the 360 and PS3 as next gen?
Ok the Wii is last gen one point five.

While im on it
Whats with people calling the 360 the Xbox?
Lets call it the 360 as that's its name
We dont call the PS 3 the playstation do we?

Thanks for reading

Monday, 22 February 2010

Plastic instrument band

Well its been thirty years since the death of a certain lead singer from a little known band. Who am I talking about? Its Bon Scott the more famous of the AC/DC singers so link wise I am going to get my moan on about these shitty plastic music interment based games.
(Yeah I am listening to some Scott era of AC/DC)
Yeah games like Guitar hero, Rock band, DJ Hero (less so as it trys to be different) and the other ones that I cant be arsed to remember. I do enjoy them, but I stopped buying them after the second Guitar Hero (mainly due to losing my job), but then I saw they had two coming out soon after Guitar Hero 80s and 3. Now its seems like we have at least one coming out every few months.
Its not a new concept. Oh dear me no. Its a style of game that has been going on since 1979 if you count the “Simon” hand-held as a instrument. Well thats what the Wiki says is the start, but if you ask me its not really music based. So skip forward a few years(over ten).
Then we had Konamis Guitar Freaks in the arcade witch is the first remembered one that relied upon plastic interments. Then they made Drum Mania, but these games where mostly made for the Japanese market. So along came Harmonix with there Guitar Hero. All the music fans rejoiced HERE WAS A GAME FOR US TO ROCK OUT TO! Ok so the track listing had a whole bargain bin rock compilation feel to it with songs that most of us are probably sick of hearing on lesser rock stations (yeah Im sick of Ace of Spades and Smoke on the water), people like me bought the game anyway and enjoyed it. Then about a year later the second came out. Same idea different tracks and less of the ones that get over played. Yep we all got that one as well. Then it came to Rocks the 80s Interest was wavering at this point as there was Guitar Hero 3 round the corner. In the mean time EA started on its Rock Band series of games. Yeah here was more than just a guitar here was a full band so what did Harmonix do? Made Guitar Hero World Tour. So now we had two company's basically making the same game and these “band in a box” games weren't cheap and at first weren't backwards compatible so if you wanted them both you had to buy BOTH SETS!! and at over a hundred quid each they weren't cheap. Thankfully later versions of the games rectified that, but they also in the mean time made some single band based ones like the shoddy AC/DC one that is just there live album and the over hyped band Beatles one (yeah Beatles aren't that good and by the end of Retro Rewind I was sick of hearing there songs), but by now these games had become well known (there was a stage for them at Donington), but these games required next to no musical talent to play (heck even people that made the songs tried the game and got a fail)
Now we have more than one lot as theres also Band Hero (poptastic mate), DJ Hero (Urgh JZ), Lego Rockband to name, but a few.
To put it simply there replacing Karaoke, but are more expensive if you want to keep up to date. So what now?
Well there are free versions the most well known of them is Frets On Fire that offers users the choice of what songs they want in there (No Tokyo Hotel for starters) so its play-list is all down to the user. It keeps it simple with no mass of wires connecting up to a console. Frets on Fire was originally made to be played on a keyboard, but you could wire up a PS2 Guitar to it.
So I think ill stick to the free one and playing on other peoples proper copys of the game.
So now the company's are saying that there games aren't selling as well WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? The market is so flooded that its now like the set of Water World and equally as tedious. They have said that they are not going to be making as many any more or could that be due to there running out of different well known songs?
Another point is that you cant exactly get the same effect when burning a plastic guitar while playing it and smashing it on the floor wont have the same effect as a wooden one
I did leave out some games and ill give them a mention now.
Samba De Amigo – Only well known to gamers that knew what a Dreamcast was and owned one and owned by even less.
A fun little game that gives you a pair of Maracas to shake along to the music for more info “google it” and avoid the Wii version as I hear its hit and miss

Donkey Konga – Bongos your given a pair of very robust bongos sadly every version has the same tracks on it, but ill tell you what, the games fun and satisfying after a long session on it you will feel relaxed with no stress.

These are all ones that have came out in the UK there are ones like Taiko Drum Master that are yet to come out over here so I cant pass judgement on
also there is Cool cool jam on the Neogeo pocket that from what I have been told makes full use of the consoles portability.

Of all these games out WHERE IS COWBELL HERO???
Theres one I will be good at.

Thanks for reading.

Download only games - Money for nothing?

Well its time to get my moan on.

This one was slightly harder than the last few as I am in a really good mood thanks to having one of those days (no sex was involved, but there was some screwing).
For more details look at my recent vid.
Yeah I know 99p!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As said in the last one about games this ones going to be about games that are “Download only”.

No Sega this isn't another one aimed at your recent Sonic 4 even if it is going to be mentioned.
This is one that can also be applied to music and one thing I was glad of was with AC/DCs “Black Ice” album, the basically said “If you want the album you can go into a store and buy it” so good one them.
So download only games. Yeah I hate them. Well free ones are great, but when you have to pay to download something it seems like its money for nothing, but the kicks aren't free!
So when I hear that a new Rocket Knight game being made that I will end up splashing money out on I think “Great, cant wait to open it”, but then things take a turn for the worst when I see the words “Download only”. Yeah “Download only”. Ok I admit its easier for the games company's to do this as it cuts out the middle man, but why download only?.
I have a hatred of paying to download something as like I said before “It feels like im paying for nothing at all.” Yeah its easier for those that don't have much space, but come on its not like your buying a Neo Geo game as most games come in DVD style cases and they give us something to look at, something to caress, something to hold close to your person and go “ahhhhhhhh”, something physical, something real heck you cant get that addicting “New game” smell from a download. Holding up a my 360 is not as nice as its kinda all wired up so I have to unplug it all and then if I drop it, it might break, but with a Wii it just feels wrong. A PC would be a total disaster.
What's so hard about sticking it on a disc?
Or better still a cheapo memory stick.
Ok it wont be the same as stroking a DVD box, but at least it wont break if I drop it from normal human hight and you will still get that “New game smell” that freaks like me love so much.
There's also that DVD cases look good on the shelf where as Hard Drives DONT!!!
They aren't designed to look good. Plus if you drop a hard drive it might get buggerd so then there's all your stuff lost.
So what's next?
Well I read that the next Generation of consoles might not have a physical form of media.
Ok so what's going to happen to places like GameCity in Stockport?
Ok that might not effect there as they also a lot of retro stuff and are cheap.
Did I also say that I have it when they go download only and put it into parts?
Its not like its a TV series where the next one is out in a week. We would be lucky to see the next part in the same month.
But I think I covered that last time so thats all from that and indeed that's all from me.

Thanks for reading.

Not so MegaVideo

Id like to step away from games in this moan, but it can be linked to games tedious link style due to one certain pop up from it

Yes its Party Poker and there's probably some video on there of games, but aside from that there is no games connection.


Mega video then

Yeah its a video site, but unlike Youtube this one can hold more than ten minute vids.

"That sounds good" you might think. You might also think "Why isn't it as well known and as loved as Youtube?"

Well I will tell you.

For starters there's that Party Poker advert that pops up every time you click on a vid.

Its like they run the damn thing. If I wanted to play a card game id rather see the other players face, but since its poker I have little knowledge on how to play it.

But wait there's more.

There's another add that surrounds the big ol play button.

There is also the lack of moderators on the comments so site spam happens a lot.

Ok other than the adds there is errrrrrrrrrrrr


......................OH YEAH

The video watching limit.

As best seen on this picture

70 minutes in you get a message saying that you have watched 70 minutes of video and you have to wait OVER A SODING HOUR! to watch more.

And then it starts from the beginning (unless you skip) so if you don't know where you last where its a pain to find it again.

I have never had to do that thought as I found a way round it

Well unless you pay to get a full membership, but only fools do such a mad thing.

So yeah.

MegaVideo sucks, but its still good as there is a lot of films and stuff on there if you know how to look (there are sites that list them) so its not all bad. Its just that damn limit that spoils it.

Episodic content its like a loaf of bread with other slices later

Right its time to "Get my moan on"
This one its powered by Lancashire tea and by Foucus
because panpipes can sound good in something thats mad

Bodine typed
"I think the whole episode thing is a good idea. Makes it feel kinda epic, like Star Wars, or Lord of the Rings,... OR STAR WARS! big grin"
I typed
"Not if your gona be paying for each one and they each will probably last for about half a hour.
Plus download only?
It feels like im paying for nothing at all!
nothing at all!
nothing at all!
nothing at all!
nothing at all!
Anyway im wasting good material here that would be better used on a moan"
And where is that moan

Yeah so Episodic content.
Its like buying a loaf of bread, but then having to wait for the rest of it.
As a whole there is a lot of episodic content out there.
Theres TV yeah how many of you have said "I cant wait till next weeks episode" on some of your programs it even goes on to films with things like StarWars (yeah that was confusing with the newer episodes set before the older ones), back to the future and Evil Dead, then theres also comics and manga, theres also files that are in parts, but this is a bloody games based moan so we move on to the games side of things.
This "Episodic content" is not a new thing, oh dear me no,
The Wiki says the first one was
"One of the first episodic games was the Kroz series, a seven-part series of games featuring similar text-based graphics and gameplay, with renewed levels. These were not released on a regular schedule, but were sold in packages, with the first episode being available freely as shareware."
To me the first one I remember was Sonic the Hedgehog 3 with the follow on being Sonic and Knuckles, but that was not a shameless cash-in as Sonic and Knuckles could be enjoyed on its own (or with Sonic 2 plugged in to play as Knuckles IN SONIC 2!!!!!!!!!!). Fast forward a few years and the next one I can remember was Shining Force three. That was a pain in the thing im sitting on or arse as only the first part every got a translation into the Queens English, so we missed out on the rest of the story and as we all know the story line is a key part to a RPG.
Fast forward to the internet age now its becoming a developers lazy way of making money where they charge money for downloading something (ill get on to my Download only moan at a later date) the most recent of these is Sonic 4.
(Its starting to look like all of my moans are focused round that blue hedgehog)
Hooray! A 2D Sonic game the world is a better place now as theres a new 2D Sonic game coming out for a home console, Or is it?
Yeah its a download only thing and its in parts and the parts thing to me gives it a "Ill finish it later" feel to it.
Id rather have the damn thing come out when its all done in one nice little pack so I dont get that "TO BE CONTINUED" message about a hour in.
With it being in parts it makes it feel like paying for a demo of it and nobody likes paying for demos.
Its no longer the 90s where internet was all dail up and slow (you had to take a day off to download the latest episode of DragonballZ in a video definition that would look shitty on most mobiles today) so we paid a fiver for a mag with a disc on it just to get a taste for the latest game, but at least then there was going to be a few games to try out and it was only a fiver, plus if the demos where all crap you got a nice little coaster to put your drinks on.
But with these modern games coming out in instalments that we have to pay each time to play
Why not a flat out fee for all of them then you get the rest as they come out?
Why not just get us to wait till its done then bring it all out?
I might as well wait for it all to be out and buy it all at once, but that means that there will be sods on-line trying to spoil it (Like what happens when theres a film with a twist at the end somebody always say the end if they have seen it before you just to be a dick.

Sod it ill wait for it all then get it at once.
As long as I dont see that "To be continued" screen im happy.
Now about that bread I mentioned.
Its time to have the first part of my episodic daily food
Episode one "Breakfast"

All-aboard the hype train

Right I have gotten my cuppa and a small snack that is mostly sugar so its time to "Get My Moan On"

This moan is powered by what ever the fark Planet Rock plays.

Hype. There's a lot of it about, weather its for a new movie (Avatar in looking at you), book (No I don't want to hear about a day in some person that's famous for being on TV once). a TV program (Heroes springs to mind). the iPad (SHUT UP ABOUT IT) or some new store that is meant to be cheap but ends up going out of business as it made no profit on anything. What I'm getting at here is there's a lot of hype about for things, but this is a games based moan. So about games it shall be.

I recently bought a game (I know big shocker) based on the hype it got about how good it was. I knew very little about it besides it was a RPG and my love of RPGs and the price made me buy it. So I got it home and played it and to my surprise about a hour in and the talking ended a five minute battle later it was back to the talking, then a few more hours later I got to choose what to say next followed by more talking. I saved the game and stopped playing so I asked some fans of it on-line "When does the game become a game and less of a game and it turns out that they forgot to mention its also a "Social interaction" game (you play out somebody's life) great so very little in the way of entertainment more like a interesting soap opera, if I wanted to read loads of text id rea one of the books on my "READ" pile.

I was sucked in by the hype around its purposed really good storyline and really good battles, my instincts told me not to get it as it had "Squaresoft" on the cover (They published it in the UK) and to me there games are all hype.

Well there's a new Halo out soon and already its got the front page of Edge magazine AGAIN! The hype about it has started to build up like a pile of rubbish that hasn't been collected over the Christmas period and rubbish it is.

And that afore mentioned magazine likes to hype up games. Then they come out and they hate them.

I do remember Sega Saturn Magazine hyping up the home port of "The House of the Dead" making it sound like its going to be the best home port ever. In truth?

Shoddy wasn't the word for it and that screen flash (older gun games had to know where the gun was pointed so the flash was it telling the game where you shot) became really annoying when in a boss battle in two player (me and a mate hardly saw anything of the final boss as the screen was white most the time)

On the rare occasion a game does live up to the hype, but the last one I can remember was Portal and good it was so from now on im going to ignore all this hype and just wait for the game to come out, then wait a bit longer till it drops down in price.

Thanks for reading.

A compilation of words about Sonic compilations

The following blog post is powered by DragonForce (not the game)
Right its time to Get My Moan On.
Like I said last time this ones going to be about these constant Sonic the first few games collections.
How many of these do we need on all these different formats?
I do remember a few years ago one of the first ones was Sonic Jam on the lovely Sega Saturn and it was a joy to behold granted it only had Sonic, Sonic 2, Sonic 3 and Sonic and Knuckles, but back then it was one of the firsts of its kind, manly due to the extra content on it and Sonics World witch was a GOOD 3D SONIC GAME if a bit short, hidden inside it was so much nerdy facts, adverts and trailers that you could open a damn museum for it.
(there was also a Sonic Jam on the Tiger, but its best if you don't even think about that as it is one of the worst games ever on one of the worst consoles ever)
A few years and crappy 3D games later we get “Sonic Mega Collection” that ups the number of games by adding on some that nobody gives a shit about (Sonic Spinball was never good and 3D Blast was arse full stop). Then soon after out comes a tweeked version with Game Gear/Master system versions of them “Surely this is as good as it gets” you may think and your probably right, but they left one game off and its a damn good one Sonic CD was not on it. Ok Sega sorted that out by making Sonic Gems Collection that had Sonic CD on it as well as Okish fighter Sonic the Fighters and was good for the time Sonic R, this to had on some GameGear and Master system games and even better Vectorman ok maybe not even better as I never liked them (those lucky Japs got the Streets of Rage Trilogy and over rated game Bonanza Brothers).
At least these games where not full price games.

Now a few years later we get Sonic Genesis/Mega Drive collection that has so many games I cant be arsed to list them all.
But thats not all
Go online we have also got the old Sonic games to buy again if you really like wasting your money.
Then go on Segas site there's a few for you to play online for free.

So what happens next?
Yep one more
Now we get Sonic Classics Collection for the DS
Great another chance to re-buy the same games again.
Lets see whats on this shall we?
Sonic, Sonic 2, Sonic 3, Sonic and Knuckles oh look its them games again.
Why not more?
Why not at least have Sonic CD on it?
I mean the DS cart is meant to be one gig isn't it?
And CDs are only 700mb WHERES THE EXTRA 300mb GONE?
It dose say it has videos on it, but videos of what?
Will anyone be buying it considering its just another collection of games you have probably already got?

Upon all all these collections that are out they are forgetting some that need to be released as there damn hard to get hold of.
SegaSonic the Hedgehog – Ok the trackball controls may make this game had to emulate, but at least GIVE IT A TRY!
Knuckles Choatix – Technically this is a Sonic game with out Sonic.
Sonic's Pocket Adventure – This is possibly one of the greatest hand-held Sonic games. Its great and few people have played on it. Which is a damn shame.
That 3D bonus game on Christmas Nights – Ok im pushing it a bit here
Sonic Jam – Hay its old. Why not have a collection of past Sonic Collections just to piss people off?
Sonic Jam On the Tiger – Lets let people play this pile-o-shite then realise that there lucky never to of herd of it.
Sonic Advance – Ok I admit I have never played it. I did have a N-gage, but it broke before I could get any games for it.
Sonic Advance /2/3 – Another I never really played.
Sonic Shuffle – Ok maybe not. Yeah lets take a fast character and stick him on a board game and see if people will buy it.
Sonic adventure /2- Ok maybe its a bit to soon
Sonic Wings – HUR HUR
Sonic Blaster man – DERP DERP

I know im missing the Mega Drive one out, but when that one came out you could get the first few Sonic games for the same price so I think nobody ever got it.

Whats next?
In the next decade will we be playing a new Sonic collection with crap like Sonic Heroes on our new PS5s and what ever retarded names the other company's come up with next?

I thank you for reading all that.

The Perfect Sonic game (for me)

Anyway on to the moan powered by Saxon - Inner sanctum and Motorheads motorizer
"For a head banging good time"

Lets get this straght

I haven't played many of the recent Sonic games, as I have a inbuilt hatred towards 3D plat-formers, as I cant get my head round them. I am possibly the only person on this planet that thinks Mario 64 is not the god of all 3D plat-forming as I found it confusing to play and kept missing the jumps as I like to jump from a side ways on view. I also avoided the recent Sonic games as they where 3D (played Sonic Heroes at a local HMV and nearly threw the damn gaming pod at the display of Sonic heroes titles on the self as such is my rage towards that game). then upon hearing about Sonic Unleashed and reading of the 2D sections I was really thinking of buying it (I am without job so my gaming spends are limited), BUT THEN! In walks the 3D warehog sections like somebody wearing a 50cent T-Shirt at a Motorhead concert and like said fan he is unwelcome and has people wanting to beat him to a pulp, so I decided not to buy it.

Upon hearing about "Project Needlemouse" I have not got my hopes up on it even if Sega have said "its going to be back to basic 2D"

So come on Sega make me happy


Best Sonic games from somebody that grew up playing them

Sonic 2, Sonic 3 & Knuckles, Sonic CD and Sonics Pocket adventure (it is like a mix of Sonic 2 and 3) Sonic Chaos Sonic on the master system

Best Sonic related games

Knuckles Choatix, Sonic Conicals, Sonic jump

Best 3D Sonic games

That extra in Christmas NiGHTS, the walk around bit in Sonic Jam

Passable Sonic games (okish but not good)

Sonic adventure/2 - Was playable, but with to much arsing around(The flying bits where enjoyable the most, but thats coming from somebody that has played Panzer Dragoon a lot)knows what game they where loosely based off).

Sonic Drift Racing 2 - I am possibly the only person that liked it.

Sonic Rush on DS - To many bits that relied upon knowing the level off by heart and the screen switching didnt work out to well.

Ideal modern Sonic game-

  • 2D with 3D back grounds (Like Strider 2 of Geoman 64 2).
  • The only time its 3D is with the camera behind while runing away from something (like in Sonic adventure)
  • Rings goes without saying.
  • Chaos emeralds that are hidden round the levels (like Sonic on the Master system but in random places).
  • If it is to have cut seens make them skipable after they have been seen.
  • No bonus stages as they stopped being good after Sonic 2.
  • If they must be there make them extra mingames that dont have to be played.
  • No new characters.
  • With the exception of a owl called Dave
  • Different routes for different characters (like in Sonic 3 and Knuckles).
  • Only playable characters be Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and Amy as the rest are ether dead or on vacation.
  • Better still put most of them in a sequel to Sonic Chronicles with the old Team Choatix saving something.
  • Sonic and Tails bits are normal 2D platform bits
  • Its possibly 3D for Amy and Knuckles as theres are more of a exploration stage (with some kind of combat going on)(make it so that these bits dont have to be played)
  • HIS NAME IS ROBOTNICK NOT EGGMAN!!! (there was a really good origin story for both him and Sonic in the UKs Sonic the Comic).
  • Possible new versions of classic stages (GIVE ME NEO CHEMICAL PLANT ZONE!!).
  • With possible time travelling thing from Sonic CD?
  • The return of "SEGAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" before the title screen as it makes me feel like everything going to be ok.
  • Same music composer as the one from the older titles.
  • Make it not set on Earth as that makes no sense.
  • Maybe make the time travel sections on a modified Tornado plane (NOT WITH IT GOING UP TO 88 MILES PER HOUR) in the Sonic Adventure style.
  • No choas as they look like the bastard offspring from a drunken sex session between them puyos and Nightopians and are just as useless as the later of the two.
  • SPEED Its not Sonic with out that.
Also I know your possably reading this Sega (as I tweeted it to you)
Hes fast on his feet so why a car?

Thanks for reading.

Im probably going to follow up with a rant about the amount of Sonic game collections next.
But that will probably be in a day or so as I have things to do

Moanwrite - Gameplay moan

Note this is not a moan against the online store GamePlay

Yeah this is one thing that really gets on my nerves, its the term "GamePlay" used on video of the game in play the Wiki say the following about the term game play

Despite criticism, the term gameplay has gained acceptance in popular gaming nomenclature, being the only common phrase describing the quality of player engagement or how "fun" the game is. The primary aspects of gameplay are the challenges the game presents to players, and the actions that players may take in response to those challenges. Some gaming reviews give a specific score for gameplay, along with graphics, sound, and replay value. Many consider "gameplay" to be the most important indicator of the quality of a game.

To summarise its what you feel when you play the game in question, some thing that makes the game good. NOT A VIDEO OF THE GAME BEING PLAYED! Unless its one of those shitty 90s FMV games that had none of this game play.

The recent change in the usage of it can be traced back to EA. there now using it to confuse that clueless idiot off the street that probably has a Wii and thinks that this Wiifit is a really good game and buys anything he see advertised by Ant and Dec as he thinks there real people that have spent years playing these strange video games, has weak normal sized thumbs, a manicure, talks with his colleagues down the wine bar about what ever it is these morons talk about and thinks that the latest X factor band is really "Rockin" and has never played anything PrePlaystation 2 and has herd that a game needs game play to be good. So a EA rep in his infinite wisdom decided to show somebody laying the game and slap on a "Actual Game play" on it witch I do applaud them for, but the bloke off the street will probably now go into a store and judge his next purchase of possible gaming shovelware on those little pictures on the back of the box thinking that "oh these gameplay shots look good, this looks like a really good game" while looking on the back of Walk it out while avoiding the ones that can be called games like Madworld, Ghost Squad or even soding Warioware.

So thanks EA you are now bringing down the games industry by influencing this poor sods game purchases and making him buy the filler and not the killer so is the possible reason why company's like Sega and Capcom arnt doing them good games on them as much.

So in closing I urge those games promoters to use the correct term "Game in play" to stop these game buying idiots from buying the wrong things.

I thank you


Webs was a pile-o-shite.
It never let me sign in as my self unless I was in the site editor, then it only let me post as a anon. So its now going to all be here.