Monday, 24 December 2012

cheap keyboards cost more

Well I finally did i I broke my "old" keyboard (it fell off the sofa)
Bit of a pisser, so i got a cheap-o one, YES a "Smar price" one, im ypng this on i riht now as you can tell.
I was using my emrancy one for a few days and i have to say those roll up rubber ones are really not worth your time and due to me usin my PC from the sofa its not ideal.
As you can tell I am typing this with mentioned keyboard.

So my "sage like" advice is,
"Ye must never buy cheap ones" unless you want a post like the one above or want to o back threw your writings to sort it all ot.

Sunday, 9 December 2012


Yes, I have gotten it again, another creative block, well blogging wise I have not in a “WAAAY TO MUCH BLOODY “ paper work way. its quite annoying.

Wait not annoying more like frustrating, I just resurrect this bloody blog. Maybe I am running out of things to write about, maybe its that the time of day it currently is the sun shines on my sofa that the exact point I like to sit at..

Damn it, its really annoying, ill get back to gaming then

Friday, 23 November 2012

Nights of gaming

Ok I have been setting up the fabled Computer Club for about two years now so I feel the need to rant about it.
I think.
Is there anything to rant about?
I don’t think there is as it seems like ive said it all, damn, I really don’t feel like doing a long post about it as it seems a bit pointless. Yes it does! So bugger off.

You haven’t have you?
What’s that you want content to this moan don’t you? Ok content ye shalt have.
Ok maybe there is something, its that after setting it all up most the time I don’t feel like playing much. Its weird, its probably something to do with some of the things I put out are mine, ALL MINE!
I have found my self buying a few games just for the the nights (four of the same Xbox game for example, I mean four copy’s of Halo?)

Yeah setting it up was a bugger at first, but its now organised and it takes me half the time . (Ok over statement as it depends on what I stick out) and its a bloody good work out lugging those TVs and boxes about and it is two times a month (second Friday and last Tuesday) and ok the Friday night one is like a plane with out fuel (yet to take off), but still its there.
At least I don’t charge people to sit down and have a go of what ever I stick out (I take requests just let me know in advance) at the end of the day I will just say “You do the maths” its a simple sum.
Pub + Gaming + others = ???????
(Pro tip a great night out)
What I stick out are some bloody great multi player games (trying to avoid the lone gamer motif) and a few titles nobody has ever really played (I am responsible for a resurgence of Death tank players) and nobody walks away disappointed so its all good, all I can say is pop in some time and have a bloody good go on what ever I stick out and enjoy your self, trust me playing head to head is way better than this online bollocks anyway.

Sunday, 18 November 2012

Wii will remember you

Lady's and gentlemen.

Here lies the Wii. It was a machine that broke the walls down, it brought gaming out of the bed room into the living room, it made gaming a for all ages thing, it had its ups and downs, but tech wise it proved that you don't need to be as powerful as a caffeine powered giant hamster in a wheel to provide entertainment for all ages.

It changed things.

Ok in some cases this was a bad thing as it led to the Kinect, one of the worst gaming peripherals in existence *and it to had its own fair share of imitators, most if not all of them coming from China.
For every Zelda there was ten spamware titles, for every Madworld there was ten copy paste spamware titles that only changed the number on the box
But at the end of the day can we say that no games machine was without the spam?
So lady’s, gentlemen children of all sizes I give you the Wii.
It truly was a revolution to gaming to bad about the name.

*But quite good at other things

Thursday, 8 November 2012

Jump jump Jump?

Yes i'm back and i'm as annoyed as someone that found out the biscuit jar has been emptied of hobnobs AGAIN!

Jumping, lots of games have a jump button, its the one thing that we know most characters can do, its simple even real people can do it, Van halen wrote a song about it, Girls allowed ruined a Pointer sisters song about it, Kriss kross will make you do it,
Its one of those things that’s a one button affair.

But wait, they had to go mess it up, ill tell ye a story of my experience that lead to this moan.
I was at Play Expo but a few weeks back (I was Dan) I got a chance to play the new Devil may cry game, its looks bloody great, but as we all know it can be like Michaela Strachan a few years ago (looks wise), but if it has the personality of one of those goits from Geordie shore* and the entertainment factor of one its shite. I was happily playing the game, ok I won't say “happily” as they kinda spoiled the combat by over complicating it**, I came to a jumping section, in past ones they have been “ok” (in 4 they were bloody annoying) in this? Well lets just say that like the combat they have added something to it, no longer is it a “simple” double jump (they themselves are silly due to what you jumping off while in the air?) it was a long jump followed by press this while holding this then do this, seriously? Add on to this a camera that wanted to move mid jump forcing me to fall and have to do it again and again and again. Why did they need to add more?


If Jet set Willy had all this crap it would have been shite, Sonic has this stuff but for the most part its optional and only if you want to show off, why do they need to complicate things?

As simple as pressing the “A” button
Or “B”
Or “Up” depending on the game

*Only been forced the adverts for it as one of the channels I watch shows them EVERY SODDING AD BREAK It is cancer for the eyes and brain.

**Really in the middle of a group of enemies I don't want to have to press more buttons and do some sodding QTE.

Friday, 2 November 2012

Oi TV master.......

Yes im back and im still filled with more hatred than a COD fan on a losing streak

People often wonder “Why isn’t there any shows about video games any more?”
Well ill tell you why, the internet.

The Internet is why, think about it for a minute. Why watch half an hour of TV for games news when you can spend ten minutes online reading about it, why spend half an hour waiting for the latest trailer to show when you can go on news sites and see it for your self, why wait a week till the next episode when you can go online and watch something else.

Thing is these days we can get every thing we need to know online in an instant and there’s loads of reviewers online that do a good job (ok some not due to trying to be LOL SO RANDUM) of telling us what they think of the newest stuff.

That is a good thing as bad ones we can ignore there will be no more bad ones like in Bad influence (seriously, they never reviewed Rise of the robots because from series 2 they where sponsored by it and they gave Shaq-fu 4 out of five). Closest we have today TV is Click on BBC news 24, they sometimes cover games, but don’t expect obscure games. There is also the splendid Game Center CX that I recommend to anybody that wants both a good laugh (premise is a Japanese comedian in his late 30s playing some games to the end, the twist is he’s not that good, it has lots of great bits for more info ill plonk a list up of recommended episodes) but even this is a webcast and not really on TV, but its as close as we are going to get.
Why it was good back then was due to lack of internet everywhere and presenters that where funny and got away with all sorts (Look up Gamesmaster the funny bits on Youtube), it was what can be referred to as “the golden age” (8 bits where nearly at an end, 16 bits are coming out then came the 32s) back when TV was watch able as well and wasn’t full of people prancing about on stage pretending to sing.
Even games mags are feeling the internets grasp as why buy a mag when you can just read things about games online, ok most these days are shite, Edge and GamesTM are almost the same thing, (or stuck up there own arses). GamesMaster at least is different and gives us a more “Fun” look at things and gives us freebies of varying quality’s (ARCADE STICKERS!!), but I dont even buy that every month the only one I do is Retro Gamer due to it having content that I cant be arsed to Google up. Plus its hard to read the old computer on the bog. (its hard to wipe your arse on a laptop when you run out of paper).

So then before you start to plan out an awesome video games related show put into perspective that what your doing is probably already being done online and its probably being done cheaper as well.

Thursday, 25 October 2012

The returners

Yes im back and im grumpy.

I seem to of lost my domain due to Melbourne IT cocking it up, I was forced into going with them when Microsoft ended out free ride.

What is it of late with series making returns?
All the films of late have been remakes as well. Ok for the most part some of these have been better than the originals, thats not to say the originals are that bad, Judge Dredd was a bad movie that was quite good, but then you see Robocop.
Seriously he looks like a extra from Deus EX, ok so he now looks less like he should fear an electric can opener, but still I suppose they are bringing him to a new generation and thats a good thing, maybe have a cameo from the other Robocop.
But on the other hand there have been good remakes, from Star trek (ok considering that they no longer have any series to milk for films) to anime, yes Dragonball Kai wasn’t as much of a remake as a “Touch and go” WITH EDITS!!

Ok people used to read this as its about my complaints in games, but to be honest for every “Why?” return we have the likes of NiGHTS, yes NiGHTS that game that I bloody love, to bad its download only, but at least it give people that never owned a Saturn or a “Special” PS2 a chance to play it, (Really download it now).
Now we read of Segas “Model 2” games coming out, this is both a good and a bad thing, good as some never got a really good conversion, bad as the PS2 had better than arcade ports of a lot of them, look at Virtual on, its bloody great and it has loads of modes and options that would make Capcoms option menus whimper, its just a shame they where all Japan only, even if some had English options, just hope they are messed with, but not in a gameplay way (The trailer for Viruta Fighter 2 showed the old “Jeffrey teleport bomb” glitch).

So returns are both good and bad

And some are just made to make a extra few quid.

Post writing edit

Saturday, 18 February 2012

Soul calidurrrrrrr the fifth

Wow a new post.
Sorry life stuff

Anyway on to the review.
Yeah its
Soul Calibur 5 (My spell check hates that word)
So what’s to hate about it? Well all I can say it LOTS! BLOODY LOADS! Mags say its a “Return to form” and that its “The best one for ages” well guess what. I call bull shit on that. (expected)
While most the game is the same as usual there have been some changes to it, some for the worse (super moves?).
As per usual ill list them for your reading pleasure.
-Solo no no – Here’s something I rant about a lot, WHERE ARE THE SINGLE PLAYER MODES!!? The Dreamcast version had loads. It had a challenge mode that was loads of fun. There isn’t one in this . There is a story mode, but rather than give you one for each character they give you one and force you to play as the worst characters in the game. Other than that threes a arcade mode, (No ending here folk’s)you get The challenge mode in this one is just loads of cheating Ai characters (don’t know how many cant get past the first bloody person and two versions of vs, (one against random made characters where you can unlock “titles”) so yeah it has mode than most recent Capcom games, but its like a out of date chocolate hobnob. (good but rubbish for dunking and a bit soft)

-Level up! - This is a trend in some recent games, the more you play the higher your level gets. Wining fights in this gives you “XP” the more you get the higher your level and the more you unlock. Well bollocks to that.

-Super moves.- Wow. Way to go Namco, you are really doing this? A move that does loads of damage in one go. Used by the computer to troll the fug out of you

-Throwing – Ok I know throwing is a close up thing but you have to be so close to throw its silly and this games dash is shite and slow so its hard to close ground when the opponent is open for a throw.

-Legend mode – Yeah its annoying to have to fight some one whombs attacks hit high and low and that never stops attacking

-Padded – This is not a pad game for me. Like Virtua fighter is requires a joystick to get the most out of it. (Street fighter on the other hand I can only play on a pad)

-Where are you? – Sometimes things can be a bit to hard to see. The graphics in this game are great but they get in the way. Really detailed backgrounds and the characters tend to blend in. that and all the hit sparks that are flying about. I say it has “To much graphics”. Older ones had simple back grounds so you could see each other. In this? Narr. Yes I am complaining that the grahpics are to good, but mostly its that there is to much going on to see.

-SET AI TO RANDOM!! - this has the worst case of random ai I have seen since Mugen. Some times the computer takes it like a bitch, some times it makes you its bitch. To be more annoying there are times when mid bout the cpu will go from doing bugger all to being a maniac.

-Character creation – I'm not having a full go at this as I have seen some great creations. Its just one thing bugs me about it. Its the moves. You don’t pick them. Ok these are mostly weapon relevant as you cant do Nightmares moves with Maxi, but they could at least of improvised and added more move sets other than the characters in the game. What about those that where in other ones but not this one?

-DLC no way – Yes again on disc things that are DLC later, this includes a new character FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I will forever have a empty character slot.

-The final – Ok SPOILER ALERT!! Its Nightmare, he’s shit, he has a super that can take almost all your life bar. And a I
TROLL U kinda power field that pushes you away that he does when you are getting in a few good moves.

-Doing the rounds – You are stuck on three. Three shall be the number of the rounds and the number of the rounds shall be three. Seriously there is no way to change it.

-In the end – Well you do arcade mode and all you get is a list of the fastest times. No ending. No special win pose. Just times. WHY NOT CALL IT TIME TRAIL MODE THEN!!? You don’t even unlock anything. There is no point to playing threw it. Soul Calibur had a picture to look at and a bit of text. This was a ending. This game has times THIS IS NOT A ENDING!!

-”Don’t use him he’s lame” - Said before but the story mode is bloody lame. For the story you get a doodle and some text. Then on to playing as some of the worst characters in the game. The female is annoying(“I'm sorry””Run away” “I don’t want to hurt you” really?) her only redeeming feature is her “Knee to the groin” attacks. Well if you don’t want to hurt some one why attack there and WHY FIGHT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!?, the male is tedious with few moves of interest. Then later on you get to play as other people that have moves. Why not make it for each character. Considering that all you are using is pictures to tell the story why not?

Over all.
Well they say that fighting games are not really made for single player’s, but how hard is it for them to at least chuck in a survival mode? I know I rant about the lack of single player love a lot, but it is a major thing. I know I have said it before but the first Soul Calibur (I know its a sequel to Soul edge/blade) had modes all over the place. A lot of them where multi player. Multi player options on the new one? vs.
CONTENT GUYS! I know the world is going online made, but thats no excuse for lack of single player.

Oh and smeg off with your DLC characters

See all that and I didn't even say how hot Ivy still looks. WHIP IT GOOD!!!!

TL;DR - Playin mates? = Get. Playin solo? Get first or 2

Sunday, 15 January 2012

Egg shaped balls

Ok I admit it, I have bought a EA sports game. No its not a Fifa Sensible Soccer is way better anyway. Nor is is one of there American sports games that has very little appeal to anybody outside the US. Its a old Rugby game. Yes I am a fan of that manly sport. Its a shame that its overlooked when it comes to games as a matter of fact the y only seem to some out during the Rugby world cup. We got two last year. Both none EA. Ones a sequel to the highly rated Johnna Lammu rugby the others the official one,but it has a problem, it has a certain company’s logo on it. Its, ii hate to say 505 Software. For those that don’t know of them (you lucky lucky bastard) they came to power in the PS2 days and released loads of Japanese games, “Fantastic” you might be thinking. You poor misguided fool, its not the stuff you want, its not the stuff the Japanese want, its the cheap crap, they games that nobody gave a rats arse about. Not only that they took a half arse approach to them (and gave them a manual that’s just a bit of a4 paper folded into a book),.

Its not surprising that everybody that played it said it was shite.

So what’s the problem with making them?

Controlling the players? All you need is move, pass (left and right), punt (thats kick it) and score a try. If attacking. If defending all you need is tackle.

Everything else (throw-in, scrums, conversions can be done with one button and the pad.

Not that hard is it?

Ok the CPU players need to be a bit smart other wise it would end up like Leeds vs a high school team. (or bloody easy), other than that what else is there?

Graphics? Make it blue blocks vs red for all I care. As long as it plays well im a happy chappy.

Official player and team names? For all I care they can be called Chaz and Dave. I have a crap memory for names anyway.

At the end of the day its a sport that isnt that famous, but the amount of fans are growing so pander to them.

Come on EA at least give us one game every now and then and stop with the bloody NASCAR ones as its bloody pointless . You can make 3 Fifas a year so why not one Rubgby one every few years.