Friday, 25 June 2010

The death of the normal console

Well its about time I did a moan like this. This weeks moan is going to be about the death of what you can call a classicy made console and by that I mean in terms of the main game storage means and that its a games console and that's it, nothing else.
In the past games consoles where simple things. Buy game, plug in, play (not forgetting to pick up the damn pad and turn the TV on the right channel) these days you can buy the game and install I. Or buy game and download it or buy game online. It seems that the old way of just buying a game for a recent console is gone. I mean look at the trouble I had with Super Street Fighter 4
>Try to play on my 360.
>Four red lights (check TV cable)
>Arse around with VGA cable for five minutes whilst stating my hatred for modern day consoles.
>Finally get the damn thing to work.
>Put in Super Street Fighter 4 disc
>Updates.(I haven't take it online or bought a recent game in years)
>Wait ten minutes for them to install
>Start game
>You need to make a avatar
At this point im starting to get pissed off as I just wanna play the damn game
>Quickly make one
>Start game
>Asks if im online
>Finally play the damn game

Yeah that. I realise that if I did buy a few new games the update thing wouldn't be a problem, but it shouldn't be this much hassle to play a game.
Now with E3 just finished there's even more gaming related crap that's gonna make the simple joys of sitting on the couch pad in hand a thing of the past. What's wrong with that? THATS THE WAY WE LIKE IT! We are not all these damn idiots that thing that shite like Wiifit is a game and think that “I really do have to buy that plastic attachment to enjoy this game” I blame the Wii.
So what do I think was the last traditional “Plug in and enjoy” console? In my eyes that was the PS2 sure it had stuff like a hard drive, internet gaming and that Eyetoy, but it wasn't shoved into our faces and the hard drive didn't even make it over to the UK(It left us with a massive hole to fill in the back its a great place to put your memory cards). The Eyetoy was fun for a bit, but all you where doing was flailing your arms round like Kermit the frog when he's running away from Ms Piggy when she has her rape face on with a dilldo and lube. Annnnnnnnnnyway moving on think about it (not the ms Piggy thing unless that floats your boat you dirty fecker. It would be like tossing a sausage down a alleyway). Any way back ON TOPIC NO MORE MS PIGGY SHES A MUPPET!! Yeah the PS2 traditional games that where mostly about single player or local multi-player. There was no download only games, there was no installing (only via homebrew), no updating the system. It was simple and THATS HOW I LIKE IT!
The only thing I didn't like was the look of it, but I torched on that in “Console arseytechture”
These days they are more like PCs only without the need for upgrading or the risk of viruses (SHUT IT MACFAGS!) and have to many expensive crappy add-ons. The installing thing is ok, but it isn't the same feeling as getting the game off the shelf and putting it into the drive/slot and sitting down pad in hand and enjoy.
Thanks for reading

Thursday, 17 June 2010

Moanin about E3 Ubisoft

Ok Ubisoft time
Start up with Child Eden a REZ sequel of sorts. I will start by saying that it is not like REZ as it isn't as musical. People that played the first REZ will know that shots fired in REZ kinda match the music, in this it doesn't. Probably wont be as good. Even if it looks more sparkly Kinda akin to a Jeff Minter game. Wasn't the first by Sega anyway?
Assassins Creed Brotherhood - So this one is going to be more about online gubins and less about single player? Yay FMV as most people haven't had enough of this already. Building story up is probably best for people that end up buying the game. Ok so now some of the game in play. There's a bit with a canon that seems a bit annoying. So yeah it is more of the same game wise
ShaunWhite – Open with something that looks like a trainer advert. Que talking about Mr Whites life THIS ISNT A FUCKING INTERVIEW SHOW SOME GAMES! It seems like a good idea with some-kind of skateboard of joy making a dull world fun and a game that transforms as you play seems good.
Que some people from a local Laser Quest wandering round it is in-fact something called “Battle Tag” “The thing you guys have been waiting for”? Didn't Sega do a home laser quest with the Lock-on? This seems like fun and yet probably will only be so for a few minutes
Que some more tat. Something to help you breathe pass
Motion Sports – Didn't I do this one already? Yes I think I did. PASS!
You know what's great about not watching these live?
New Rayman Rabbits game – DONT CARE!
Ghost Reckon – YARGABLLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Driver – FMV REALLY!! Unlike in the Need for speed game this is more like a chase game as there are cars in the way. Heck its more like a city. It could be interesting.
Project Dust – Nice FMV bro needs some of the game in play.
Rayman - Funny intro. 2D GAME!!! it works best as 2D well Rayman 3 was ok, but felt a bit broken. I shall look forward to this till it becomes a download only then I AM DISAPPONT!
Mainaplanet – User created games are always hit and miss, but I am interested in this as I like to make things
Michael Jackson – Urgh they really should of made this a lot sooner. Ok its not a game WHATS IT DOING IN E3??

Overall the Ubisoft one was average, but at least unlike the other ones this was more or less games with a bit of crap

Moanin about E3 - EA

Ok its EA time.
I have a history of hate with them as they embody everything I hate about the games industry. So expect me to hate every damn thing they show.
Opens with FMV no surprises there and it turns out to be a new Need for Speed game. “Take it back to its routes” “Re-imagen” Urgh hate it already. Never got on with the need for speed games and this looks like it wont change things. Que waiting for it to load then a FMV sequence that EA loves. While I admit that the idea of taking part in a car chase seems good. Where are the other cars on the road? Why not have traps in the cop car to get them? A spike trap would probably make it more fun.
“Need for speed is back” did it ever go away?
I'm quoting this “Ten great games from ten great company's” Expect shit. Ok maybe not as much if it was “Ten great games from EA” as we all know these company's that make games for EA can make good ones. Then EA comes along and tells them to “Hurry up” and take stuff out so they can add it as a download later.
Dead space 2. I am not going to criticise a game series that I haven't played, ok maybe a little. It seems to have FMV coming out all over the place. To me it just looks like another over the shoulder shooter.
Medal of honor. It leaves World War two as they have done it to death (why always the damn Americans?) and goes to the middle east. Wooo there's some thing new. I covered this in the Sony one.
Battlefield Bad company Vietnam expansion pack. Was met wit ha solitary clap. What's up US? Still pissed off about Nam? Talking about download only stuff SCREEEEEEEEEEW YOOOU EA!
MMA – Two fighters have signed up so far I look forward to a Street Fighter character select screen. Live broadcasting seems like a good idea. With people to criticise your fights. Just hope the game ends up being good other wise this “idea” will bomb faster than .
EA sports Active 2 – To easy PASS! (But lol multi Platform).
Madden NFL – Ill pass. Id be more interested if it wasn't such a rubbish sport.
Sims 3 – Or Big Brother the game. Both are boring shit. Why is he comparing Greek gods to “The Sims”? Note no video footage just pictures if I wanted to see pictures of a game id read a magazine. PASS!
More FPS talk. Great isn't it?
Cyrsis 2 – Why are they showing promo artwork? Oh finally in game footage. iphone adds in game? While I will say that the cinematics look good that's all they do. Oh goody here's more of it with more slow motion than that nipple slip bit in that film with that lass.
Bullet storm – Wooo a FPS. Urgh art work of the game. ACTION IS BETTER!! Looks like they have Dukes mighty boot only powered up a touch. It looks like it might be fun if it had a “Shut the hell up” button as where as the mentioned Duke spoke he didn't have verbal diarrhoea. Looks like the type of game that will get boring quite quickly.
Star Wars the new game – Yawn More FMV with slow motion.

In closing the EA one had lots of pretty pictures. That is not what people go to a show to see as its not a art gallery and a over use of FMV where as this makes a good movie it makes a lousy game. It EA one was not as bad as the Sony one it was still rubbish.

Moaning about E3 - Microsoft

So then MicroSoft.
There's starts with stuff blowing up. Then it switches to ANOTHER WAR THEAMED SHOOTER!!
Ill pass, as I really cant be arsed with another copy paste shooter. Oh wait I can pass as im not watching this one live.
Ahhh thats better “Looks absolutely stunning” MY NICELY ROUNDED ARSE IT DOSE!! It looks the fucking same. oh look the guy on stage is going on about DLC BEFORE THE GAME IS OUT! Why not PUT IT ON THE BLOODY DISC?
Now hes on about Kinect PASS!
Metal Gear Solid as a “Action game” thats easy if they take out all those damn cut scene.
Wit this is different it looks more like a “Hack and slash” So its not a MGS game then. Hit and mis if you ask me as them games tend to be about not being seen.
Oh great Gears of War 3....................................PASS!! I played the first and hated it and it looks like the series hasn't changed.
Fable 3. Yet to play the second as I hear its buggy to hell and feels rushed. Fable 3 though looks ok, but more along the same lines.
Kingdoms “footage” was shown nice advert bro.
New Halo they kill off the main character, say its the last one and them go on to make even more. Pass as it looks EXACTLY THE SAME!!
“Halo introduced people to multi-player gaming” STOP TALKING OUT OF YOUR ARSE! Ace Ventura did that and it was funny your doing it and its just shit coming out.
On to Kinect voice command seems interesting for the lazy people that are to lazy to press a damn button. Why use a 360 to listen to music when there are devices that do the same thing only better.
I wonder what this “Video chat” will be used for? Go on chat roulette to get the idea. Well watching videos together seems like a good idea if you don't want them over.
Is it me or are these newer consoles becoming less about gaming and more about using it as a PC?ESPN on demand would be nice, but none of the sports interest a nerdy sod like me. Que some classic American over acting. Its not called “Soccer” its called Football, but then they are Americans so they are messed up already as they call Puffy Rugby Football.
Ok Kinect games
Kinetcamals (sp) It looks like Nintendogs only if the dog has been eaten by the tiger. This is both creepy and weird.
On to the inevitable sports game this is like “Track and field” on a dance mat. Its been said before and im saying it again it looks like a damn Wiisports clone, but with more games.
It seems like a more advanced Eyetoy and will probably end up being treated like one with loads of shovel-ware crap that ends up in bargain bins.
It would be nice if they stopped showing “Adverts”
You shape? Well mine is slightly rounded till I get motivated to start exercising again.
Dance Central. Oh look a dancing game that hasn't been done before. They guy dancing sounds like he has tasted cock a few times so hes the target male audience for this game.
Star wars – The new cash-in. This seems like it will be fun. For about five minutes it will be great if it has surround sound on it.
Forza. WOW YOU CAN WALK AROUND THE CAR!!! You can do that in real life as well. So for them the new way to play racing games is it act like a 5 year old playing racing cars and hold a pretend wheel.

This Kinect thing seems like a load of crap a advanced Eyetoy well at least unlike the other motion controllers this one can run on junk food and alcohol to keep going.

360 Slim Note to Sony this is how to do a hardware rebuild. It looks like a do want as its a full upgrade. FREE 360s? WISH I WAS THERE!!! LUCKY BASTARDS!!

Over all the Mircosoft one like the Sony one is mostly “Look at our new thing” it was better than the Sony one but not as good as the Nintendo one.
Free gamesthings are always nice.

Tuesday, 15 June 2010

Moaning about E3 Sony

So then Sonys E3 thingy
Opens with the move so already im annoyed. NO SIR I DONT LIKE IT!!
Comparing his stage to U2s one. His wont hold Bonos ego.
“PS3 is the only console for all the family” Well you got films, for all, games for all, box for baby, and internet porn for the rest.
So he goes on about “3D HD” Urgh more bloody 3D stuff I think its best to say “You must beat Nintendo's 3DS to stand a chance” screw eyeware. I don't wanna buy a new TV and some shitty glasses to play a game. I want this guy to stop talking about 3D and what the PS3 is capable of.
Oh look A GAME!! Killzone 3 was met with whoops from the fanboys. Bloody hell he's talking about single player in a game. I have the first and will get round to playing it when It gets a bit darker out as at the moment I CANT SEE ANYTHING!! What's to be said its a FPS and it one that has been styled in the manner we have all seen before. It might be good to play, but as I said its things we have seen before. “Epic cinematic experience” what he means is loads more sitting there waiting for this FMV bit to end. Play station move comparable so you an hold a pretend to hold a gun and not enjoy it as much.
Urgh more damn 3D talk GT 3D!!!!!!!
I don't care.
LOL a baseball game using “Move” best make sure there's no kids around.
Now back to the “In game footage” to be honest nothing takes my fancy. Its THE SAME STUFF AS LAST YEAR AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT!
Urgh sales talk from someone that seems like he don't like games and is just employed as he can talk sales bollocks.
Speaking of there innovation heres the “Move” moaned about it before I WANT A FAST FORWARD BUTTON!!
Sorcery looks ok, but will be one of those games that gets forgotten and is probably nothing more than a playable tech demo that's fun for a few minutes then gets tedious. I think it would sell more if it had the Harry Potter name on it as it looks a lot like that.
Oh goody sports games Tiger Woods with a motion controller? CoughWiicough. This game isn't one for watchers its one for players and golf is best played with clubs OUTSIDE!! this game was bad for those with low ceilings.
Heroes on the move. Sorry but this just looks like another damn 3D plat-former with added arm-waving.
Woooo Playstation move with Coca Cola two things that I DONT WANT!! (The Cola is bloody horrible).
Que some guy I don't know cracking jokes that aren't that funny cracking gaming phrases that he probably read online trying to be “Down with da gamerz” STOP TALKING ABOUT THE FUCKING MOVE!! SHOW SOME DAMN GAMES!! He's like a damn motivational speaker. I need a fast forward button NOW!!
Que more Move talk. Wow prices of these things I probably wont buy unless they are cheap. They are talking about games already out?
So many tech demo's disguised as games with a remix of “I like to move it move it” SEE WHAT THY DID THERE?
Time Crisis? It wont feel right without a plastic gun and a trigger.
Damn I hate Sonys new adverts for the PSP and the kid that they are using GENARICCOULERD KID holding a PSP with game footage that IS NOT PASTED ON LATER! Yeah people aren't buying the PSP due to lack of good games. There are good games its just that they know how easy it is to pirate games on the DS. Sad to say it PRIACY SELLS CONSOLES!! but also means that games company's don't get paid as much
New God of War now I'm interested Sony cant seem to keep to there ideas of “Trilogy”. Heck Duglas Adams kept to the ideas of a trilogy better than these guys.
Little big planet 2 I admit with this I want to play it as I'm a bugger for messing round with things and making stuff. This looks very interesting as it don't have the move to drag it down.
Wut charging for a online”Gold” service? Isn't that a backwards step?
I think its time for a brew as this guy seems to have verbal diarrhoea.
New Medal of honour A WAR GAME I HAVENT SEEN ONE OF THESE!! and its set in Afghanistan THATS A NEW ONE! FECK OFF!! Id rather play Killzone as it looks fun this just looks like the same old tired shite I have seen coming out again and again and again.
Dead Space 2 nice to see EA using QTEs and FMV a load of times. They seem to be forgetting about playing the damn game.

Is it me or are they talking about “limited edition” packs a bit to much?

Ok it was welcomed by the voice of Glados that sent shivers down my spine. On walks Gabe and got a laugh outa me. Wait is it PS3 only? Still it got manly tears of joy out of me and looks really good.
Final Fantasy in my opinion is the most over rated series in existence and a MMO in its styling's interests me not. So from now on are they all gonna be online?
It would be nice if he stopped talking about PS3 exclusive content.
Gran Turismo 5 they are doing what they have been doing with every other Gran Turismo game and that is “Oh look at that FMV isn't it shiny” playing racing games from that angle should never be done. Just show us the game in play not this FMV bullshit.
Infamous 2 SHOW US THE DAMN GAME IN PLAY NONE OF THIS...............Read above.
Twisted Metal above above. At least the guy in the van was some visual candy.
Ok the game in play. Blowing shit up in a city. This looks good. Games where the objective is to blow shit up are better than games where you have to think about shooting things.

In closing the Sony one was one that let me not type as fast as the Nintendo one and was bloody shite with only one game that really got me considering buying it.
Still at least I wasn't typing as fast as I was at the Nintendo one and WILL THEY SHUT UP ABOUT THERE FECKING MOVE!!

Moaning about E3 -Nintendo

Ok so I am watching the Nintendo E3 thingy first as I came up with this idea today. The idea of doing a moan about each of the live conferences.
They will be a bit long and typed as I watched the streams and I have missed a few so there will be a catch up

Technology is a tool?
It is a tool for both good and evil.
Good tech is like a mouse.
Bad tech is like a mouse.
Ok thats the same thing twice, but a mouse can be great for computer based things but is rubbish for getting us drinks, but can be used as some kind of flail so its not all bad.

Ok so Zelda.
I admit that a shiver went down my spine on this one as any Zelda fan will know THAT TUNE! (heck a sod like me has the open chest jingle ans a incoming text tune)
The darkness is gone. GOOD!! I'm getting a bit sick of this whole “lulz its so dark” stuff Ok so I have moaned about the amount of black in these new games. This new Zelda seems to of adjusted the contrast. So great for me SUCK IT to those emo kids that don't like things that have a bit of colour on them. I personally am not a fan of overly realistic games as if I wanted realism id GO OUTSIDE, but probably not while waving a sword round trying to save some girl from a dragon thing while drinking mystic potions bought from some old lady that works in a shop with more different potions. Speaking of those mystic things.
Giant mushrooms? Isn't that Marios thing?
Sword beams? Nice to see them back. To bad they take a bit of time to charge up where as all of us that played the old 2D ones will know that it used to require full heath.
So now we are able to swing the sword at the angle we want to there is some thing that they promised IN THE FIRST WII ZELDA!!
I wonder what happened to the way that they said shooting arrows would be done when you had to pull back on the nunchuck in Twilight princess? Well they seem to of put it in this one even if it didn't work on the demo they are showing (technical difficulty).
They old item screen has gone which is a shame even if it broke up the action of the game.
A new thing is a beetle thing that you can fly round. To me its a bit urghmehhuuuumerrrm? As I don't know what to make of it. It might be good. It might be an excuse for me to grown about it being a bit to hard to use.
A whip as well?
I hope it has a mini game where you whip Zelda for our enjoyment. Heck some preserve sods ;like me would probably play that for hours all while probably imagining that its me getting whipped by Zelda while she is in some fetching S&M number.......................Ok ill keep my fantasy's to me self
I am a Zelda fan so ill buy it anyway.

Next thy had
At least this one isn't just one sport. From what I have seen it had volleyball (lulz Sega did it) and basketball. ILL PASS!!!
Now the buggers on about Wii sales. WHO CARES? We know its sold well keep it for the office as all we want are THE GAMES!!
“Wii owners play there systems more than others”
Wait what? Mines not been plugged in in months. My 360 has been on more than that and I HAVE LESS GAMES FOR THAT! Meh you know what my PS2 has spent more time on than them )probably due to games for it being cheap)
Looks like Mario has lost his job on that. ILL PASS!! its probably going to be one of those that requires friends and beer or little kids and in this flat I don't have the room for all of them
Urgh a dance game with annoying pop music that got a “ARGGGH” outa me. At least I don't have to buy or play this shite.
Golden Sun dark dawn?
Ok there's that “Dark” thing again I haven't really played any of the others of it, which is shame on me as I hear they are by Team Sonic the people that made the Shining games (don't let that put you off the ones on the Saturn are really good).
Oh look. A new GoldenEye game.
Don't get me wrong fan boys I didn't like it and to me with the last GoldenEye title (err wasn't it EA?) got slated by fans. I'm not looking forward to this as I preferred Perfect Dark which is a bit of a strange thing to say as if it wasn't for the former it wouldn't be for the later. So bring us a sequal to that. Oh wait you didn't make it Rare did and right now they are Mircosofts bitch and are forced to make games that are ranked as “OK” instead of making games that are considerd as “THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST!”
Epic Mickey was next up. Errrm. Yep it looks decent. Yes you saw me put the words “Looks decent” in a sentence for a Disney game. Ok and it has those god damn 3D plat-forming sections, but WHATS THIS? A 2D platform bit? This reminds me of Mickeys wild adventure (never liked it, but it sold really well back when I was in that inde game store). Just hope that there's a lot of these as they look good and have a camera that's zoomed out so you can see where your jumping so no leaps of faith that can destroy peoples like mine enjoyment in the game im playing. (moan about that pending)
Also lol to Reggie talking about “hardened games” while pointing at himself. I wont judge him as I don't know his gaming past.
New Kirby?
AND ITS 2D?AND IT LOOKS different!!?
Who needs lardy dar million pixel characters when you can have something that looks “Arty” like this. This looks quite good and has so much colour its like a trip down to the preschool while on those mushrooms I mentioned earlier.(or like watching Disney Kids)

Dragonquest I wont pass judgement on as I haven't played any of them yet.
I know that's a bit weird coming from somebody that likes the series called Gintama (note the person that made that bloody loves them games and points out that during most episodes)

Metroid another M
The video showed a hell of a lot of ruining round doing nothing, but running round with the usual Team Ninja boss moments. I should pay more attention to these newer games, but I wont so live with it.

This is good news to somebody like me that hates 3D plat-formers. (Note to self play Donkey Kong country's again)

So now he is talking about the 3DS and 3D I am with him on the whole glasses things as I don't wont eye-where while im relaxing (the sodding parrot will try to get at them).
Ohh smoke and a DS on a pedestal.
So it has a analogue pad (they are calling it a slide pad). EXPECT GAMECUBE PORTS!!! It looks like the DSi and DSiXL have been at it as this looks like the top half is a DSiXL and the bottom is a Dsi with a analogue stick bumping down the D-pad. Two cameras? 3D pictures? Movement tracking? Movement and hand helds is always a bad thing and you can put that down to personal experience as that pesky sun stops us from enjoying games (ok so Botkai made us have to play outside. I wont explain why just get the damn game and enjoy the summer). Movies? Well I admit this is a nice thing but from what they have said these films are all shovelware crap films made to sell crappy toys till the next one comes out. If I want kids films id watch some Studio Ghilbi stuff while wanting to have the money to own a life sized Totoro so I can enjoy those damn mushrooms I keep mentioning while thinking im in a anime land where I can punch peoples heads off and be called “A hero”.
New Pit game?
DAT VOICE!! There's something I don't like from the start. (sub titles please so I can mute it). The combat looks a bit like Sin and Punishment and that's a good thing, but still DAT VOICE!! The game it self looks alrightacus as a mater of fact it looks goodacus.
New Nintendogs met with a urgh from the crowd and from me it is not a game as there is no point to it. There is no end to it.
Going threw all the different companys and what they are making for the Wii cheers for most then came EA “.....................” Yeah next to nobody gives a shit what EA are gonna be farting out this year with a number htats one higher than the others. A new Ridge Racer is always welcomed by me as they are games where its more like select car race, not select car, spend half a hour tuning it, chose colour, chose tires, chose track, choose time, get a brew mirror signal DRIVE!
The 3DS promo advert was funny. (Did I see a red shell? Dose that mean a new Mario kart?).
I just hope that the 3D games on it aren't all about running towards the screen with something chasing you.
THEN! Out come a load of “Both babes” with 3DSs strapped to them so no sods can nick them (shame). Ok it will probably be fun playing with a lass with a strap on but not like this

Overall the Nintendo one was great they seemed to be taking a step back into 2D with a lot of there games.
Dose this mean the they are getting over this whole 3D games phase? With there main console and going back to there 2D routes?

Friday, 11 June 2010

Balls to the pitfalls

Well it is Friday (ok Thursday as I was writing this) and as such it is time to "Get me moan on". As per-usual I seem to get them from playing games while having a brew.

Ok picture the scene. I am there N gage in hand playing on it (I think that's what it was ment for as Im not taking calls on it as it looks like im talking into Cornish pasty holder). So the game I am playing is Sonic N, Im not moaning about that as it is a good game (review coming soon), but there is one thing that narks me off about it, as a matter of fact its the same thing that annoys me about most 2D plat-formers and heck most games with jumping in.
What is this thing?
Well picture this. You are there happily running threw the level then all of a sudden! You fall and fall and fall and then death. So if you didn't know that is called a “Pitfall” (not the game). What are pitfalls? They are holes in the ground that leed to death. A bit unrealistic as nothing can't kill you. Well I say “Nothing can't kill you” if there was some big walking bastard death machine from Satan's sweaty crotch strap called “Nothing” and it was a bit pissed off at you for eating the last chocolate hobnob he probably would kill you, but to my reflection that thing doesn't exist. So nothing can't kill you. I know that they are basically doing is saying that “This fall will kill you” but why not just have something there? Or loop the drop till you hit a floor? At least then there will be something there and thats better than nothing. Its like the grim reaper with a stealth suit is lying there and you land on his mighty boner.
There are even games where you can die from falling off something that is slightly higher than the platform you are on is some cases this can be a pixel difference. If I died every time I jumpped off the sofa I probably wouldn't of lasted long in this world.
These bloody things are annoying especially when they can't be seen coming.
Why are they in games?
To make them more challenging?
Like fug they do.

Friday, 4 June 2010

Listing moan

Sorry for the lateness of this weeks moan things have gone tits up in the kitchen and not in a good way. (all that food gone to waste). This moan will be shorter than usual. Normal moaning will resume next week.
So anyway its time to “Get my moan on” Ok so we all have seen these “Top things” lists and for the most part people will always disagree with them. At the end of the day they are all down to personal opinions, but as I always say “Opinions are like onions, they are not always welcome” so why am I moaning about them? Well one thing is that when mags that arent associated with games do them they are usually the worst type like with Empires recent “Top 50 games characters” ill save you from looking threw it and just say that Gordon Freeman is at number one.
Yeah Freeman he hasn't spoken once, he has no personality. Hes basically lifeless pile of polygons, but this ain't a rant against rubbish games characters (yes mi calling him rubbish). Then you see thing like “TOP 50 GAMES!” on MSNs site that has what is the same game in there a few times and probably some older titles that they have probably only ever herd where good.
There is one mag that dose a top ten every issue and it is a games mag infarct it is GamesTM. They tend to be games of a certain type or theme (like sports, horror or pervy). They recently did one about the top multi-player games. Some of it was blatantly obvious (Bomberman, Mario Kart) but they also had crap on there (COD/HALO REALLY! We all know that when there next games come out they will be in the next list) these where mostly for online players and I don't feel that its the best way to play multi player games. The lack of Doom. Warlords, Deathtank zewi and Combat was disappointing, but ok the lack of Death tank is understandable as it wasn'tt that easy to gain access to (You needed aSaturnn Duke Nukem andetherr Quake orexhumedd saved on theinternallmemoryy)
Well at least it wasn't one of them TOP TEN SEXY GAMES FEMALES!!. I watch one of them recently and it was laughable, not due to the host (looks like she has only ever played on the Wii and seemed a bit lacking in knowing what she was talking about). So yeah these lists are bloody annoying and are usually a way of filling up a few pages for lazy writers (heck classic Rock Magazine dose it a lot) and now to tie things up heres my top list of things to do when you see one you disagree with.
1.Shake your head.
2.Rage a bit.
3.Question it.
4.Ignore it.
5.Turn the page.
6.Think no more of it.
7.Never read the offending article again.
8.Get on with your life.

Thanks for reading now back to booting that bloody fridge for warming my drinks