Friday, 25 June 2010

The death of the normal console

Well its about time I did a moan like this. This weeks moan is going to be about the death of what you can call a classicy made console and by that I mean in terms of the main game storage means and that its a games console and that's it, nothing else.
In the past games consoles where simple things. Buy game, plug in, play (not forgetting to pick up the damn pad and turn the TV on the right channel) these days you can buy the game and install I. Or buy game and download it or buy game online. It seems that the old way of just buying a game for a recent console is gone. I mean look at the trouble I had with Super Street Fighter 4
>Try to play on my 360.
>Four red lights (check TV cable)
>Arse around with VGA cable for five minutes whilst stating my hatred for modern day consoles.
>Finally get the damn thing to work.
>Put in Super Street Fighter 4 disc
>Updates.(I haven't take it online or bought a recent game in years)
>Wait ten minutes for them to install
>Start game
>You need to make a avatar
At this point im starting to get pissed off as I just wanna play the damn game
>Quickly make one
>Start game
>Asks if im online
>Finally play the damn game

Yeah that. I realise that if I did buy a few new games the update thing wouldn't be a problem, but it shouldn't be this much hassle to play a game.
Now with E3 just finished there's even more gaming related crap that's gonna make the simple joys of sitting on the couch pad in hand a thing of the past. What's wrong with that? THATS THE WAY WE LIKE IT! We are not all these damn idiots that thing that shite like Wiifit is a game and think that “I really do have to buy that plastic attachment to enjoy this game” I blame the Wii.
So what do I think was the last traditional “Plug in and enjoy” console? In my eyes that was the PS2 sure it had stuff like a hard drive, internet gaming and that Eyetoy, but it wasn't shoved into our faces and the hard drive didn't even make it over to the UK(It left us with a massive hole to fill in the back its a great place to put your memory cards). The Eyetoy was fun for a bit, but all you where doing was flailing your arms round like Kermit the frog when he's running away from Ms Piggy when she has her rape face on with a dilldo and lube. Annnnnnnnnnyway moving on think about it (not the ms Piggy thing unless that floats your boat you dirty fecker. It would be like tossing a sausage down a alleyway). Any way back ON TOPIC NO MORE MS PIGGY SHES A MUPPET!! Yeah the PS2 traditional games that where mostly about single player or local multi-player. There was no download only games, there was no installing (only via homebrew), no updating the system. It was simple and THATS HOW I LIKE IT!
The only thing I didn't like was the look of it, but I torched on that in “Console arseytechture”
These days they are more like PCs only without the need for upgrading or the risk of viruses (SHUT IT MACFAGS!) and have to many expensive crappy add-ons. The installing thing is ok, but it isn't the same feeling as getting the game off the shelf and putting it into the drive/slot and sitting down pad in hand and enjoy.
Thanks for reading

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