Thursday 17 June 2010

Moaning about E3 - Microsoft

So then MicroSoft.
There's starts with stuff blowing up. Then it switches to ANOTHER WAR THEAMED SHOOTER!!
Ill pass, as I really cant be arsed with another copy paste shooter. Oh wait I can pass as im not watching this one live.
Ahhh thats better “Looks absolutely stunning” MY NICELY ROUNDED ARSE IT DOSE!! It looks the fucking same. oh look the guy on stage is going on about DLC BEFORE THE GAME IS OUT! Why not PUT IT ON THE BLOODY DISC?
Now hes on about Kinect PASS!
Metal Gear Solid as a “Action game” thats easy if they take out all those damn cut scene.
Wit this is different it looks more like a “Hack and slash” So its not a MGS game then. Hit and mis if you ask me as them games tend to be about not being seen.
Oh great Gears of War 3....................................PASS!! I played the first and hated it and it looks like the series hasn't changed.
Fable 3. Yet to play the second as I hear its buggy to hell and feels rushed. Fable 3 though looks ok, but more along the same lines.
Kingdoms “footage” was shown nice advert bro.
New Halo they kill off the main character, say its the last one and them go on to make even more. Pass as it looks EXACTLY THE SAME!!
“Halo introduced people to multi-player gaming” STOP TALKING OUT OF YOUR ARSE! Ace Ventura did that and it was funny your doing it and its just shit coming out.
On to Kinect voice command seems interesting for the lazy people that are to lazy to press a damn button. Why use a 360 to listen to music when there are devices that do the same thing only better.
I wonder what this “Video chat” will be used for? Go on chat roulette to get the idea. Well watching videos together seems like a good idea if you don't want them over.
Is it me or are these newer consoles becoming less about gaming and more about using it as a PC?ESPN on demand would be nice, but none of the sports interest a nerdy sod like me. Que some classic American over acting. Its not called “Soccer” its called Football, but then they are Americans so they are messed up already as they call Puffy Rugby Football.
SHOW ME GAMES!!!
Ok Kinect games
Kinetcamals (sp) It looks like Nintendogs only if the dog has been eaten by the tiger. This is both creepy and weird.
On to the inevitable sports game this is like “Track and field” on a dance mat. Its been said before and im saying it again it looks like a damn Wiisports clone, but with more games.
It seems like a more advanced Eyetoy and will probably end up being treated like one with loads of shovel-ware crap that ends up in bargain bins.
It would be nice if they stopped showing “Adverts”
You shape? Well mine is slightly rounded till I get motivated to start exercising again.
Dance Central. Oh look a dancing game that hasn't been done before. They guy dancing sounds like he has tasted cock a few times so hes the target male audience for this game.
Star wars – The new cash-in. This seems like it will be fun. For about five minutes it will be great if it has surround sound on it.
Forza. WOW YOU CAN WALK AROUND THE CAR!!! You can do that in real life as well. So for them the new way to play racing games is it act like a 5 year old playing racing cars and hold a pretend wheel.

This Kinect thing seems like a load of crap a advanced Eyetoy well at least unlike the other motion controllers this one can run on junk food and alcohol to keep going.

360 Slim Note to Sony this is how to do a hardware rebuild. It looks like a do want as its a full upgrade. FREE 360s? WISH I WAS THERE!!! LUCKY BASTARDS!!

Over all the Mircosoft one like the Sony one is mostly “Look at our new thing” it was better than the Sony one but not as good as the Nintendo one.
Free gamesthings are always nice.

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